LADY IN WAITING

Segera setelah gw selesai baca buku ini, gw pengen banget bikin ringkasannya supaya banyak yang bisa baca, tapi ternyata sampe sekarang setelah bulan demi bulan berlalu, gw ga sempet terus dan kelupaan haha. Sekarang gw bener-bener niat bikin abis baca ulang. Judul Indonesianya Wanita dalam Penantian: Menjadi yang terbaik bagi Allah dalam Penantian.

"Buku ini bukanlah tentang bagaimana menemukan pria yang tepat, tetapi tentang bagaimana menjadi wanita yang tepat."

Buku ini mengubah pandangan gw dan banyak wanita dalam penantian di luar sana, begitu memberkati dan mengubah hidup kami. Dulu gw selalu yakin kalo suatu hari Tuhan akan membawa sang pangeran datang di hadapan gw, seorang pria yang cinta Tuhan dan sebagainya. Gw cuma tinggal nunggu aja disini, ngejalanin hidup gw sampai dia datang. Gw juga berpikiran kalo punya pasangan itu melengkapi hidup gw. Gw selalu pengen punya orang yang bisa temenin gw, berbagi sama gw, bikin gw bahagia. Ternyata oh ternyata gw salah!

Mungkin ada di antara kalian yang berpikiran sama kaya gw? Menanti pasangan yang tak kunjung datang? Akhirnya dibilang orang, "Makanya jangan terlalu picky!", atau mungkin, "Kok jomblo terus sih? Ga laku ya?" Hehe, don't worry, dengan buku ini, kita akan punya perspektif yang benar dan tepat dan kita bisa menjadi Wanita dalam Penantian yang menyenangkan Tuhan!

Buku ini bukan cuma buat para singles loh. Buku ini applicable untuk lajang, yang sudah menikah, bercerai, janda, jadi ga tergantung status seorang wanita tapi kerinduan hatinya. Banyak dari kita yang mikir kalo mencintai seorang pria dan menikah adalah satu-satunya naskah yang dapat memuaskan kerinduan hatinya yang terdalam. Tapi sebenarnya yang dapat memuaskan kerinduan hati kita cuma satu, Tuhan Yesus Kristus, sang Mempelai Pria Sejati.

Tujuan utama gw nulis ini semua adalah supaya orang-orang yang kesulitan cari bukunya tetap bisa merasakan berkat yang gw dapet dari buku ini. Tapi gw tetap menyarankan untuk mencari dan membelinya. Ini aset berharga buat diri kalian, teman, saudara, dan anak-anak kalian nanti. Kalian ga akan pernah bosen untuk terus baca ulang, dan apa yang gw tulis ga akan bisa merangkum keindahan keseluruhan buku ini dibanding kalian baca sendiri. Oke, kita mulai ya.

Dalam buku ini ada 10 bab, nah silahkan klik link-nya buat baca, berurutan ya. Gw akan cerita dengan gaya bahasa gw, tapi akan ada beberapa kalimat-kalimat yang langsung gw sertakan soalnya terlalu bagus buat diringkas (warna biru). Haha.

Bab 1 - Wanita dengan Penyerahan tanpa Ragu (Lady of Reckless Abandonment)
Bab 2 - Wanita yang Rajin (Lady of Diligence)
Bab 3 - Wanita yang Beriman (Lady of Faith)
Bab 4 - Wanita yang Penuh Kebajikan (Lady of Virtue)
Bab 5 - Wanita yang Penuh Pengabdian (Lady of Devotion)
Bab 6 - Wanita yang Murni (Lady of Purity)
Bab 7 - Wanita yang Memiliki Rasa Aman (Lady of Security)
Bab 8 - Wanita yang Puas (Lady of Contentment)
Bab 9 - Wanita yang Penuh Keyakinan (Lady of Conviction)
Bab 10 - Wanita yang Sabar (Lady of Patience)

DOGAI'S NEW BATIK OUTFIT

Good day! Yesterday I sewed Dogai a new clothes! Got the pattern from HERE. We just need to print out the pattern based on our dog's size. Measure our dog like THIS, and check it HERE. That website has a lot of  patterns. Since it's my first I tried the easiest one. I also haven't bought the proper fabric yet, so I just used the Batik patchwork in my house. Well, at least I have to teach Dogai to love our own traditional cloth, Batik!

He was super curious when I was cutting the pattern, but did not disturb me at all, he just sat patiently beside me and I could feel the softness of his fur while working.

VOILA! 

Batik vest for Raden Dogai!

See you on the next project!

APOLOGY LANGUAGE

After Love Language I found the Apology Language test from 5 Love Languages too. You can try it HERE.

Well of course we have to forgive even if the people who have done wrong don't even apologize. However I think it's still useful for us to build healthier relationship with people around us.

Genuinely Repent (9)

For some individuals, repentance is the convincing factor in an apology. Some mates will doubt the sincerity of an apology if it is not accompanied by their partner’s desire to modify their behavior to avoid 
the situation in the future.

It’s important to remember that all true repentance begins in the heart. A mate must feel poorly for hurting their loved one, and rely on God’s help in order to truly change. Admitting you are wrong creates vulnerability. It allows your mate to get a glimpse of your heart. The glimpse of true self is assurance that the apology was sincere.

One important aspect of genuinely repenting is verbalizing your desire to change. Your mate cannot read your mind. Though you may be trying to change inside, if you do not verbalize your desire to change to your mate, most likely they will still be hurt.

Many people have problems with repenting when they do not feel as though their actions were morally wrong. However, in a healthy relationship, we often make changes that have nothing to do with morality and everything to do with building a harmonious marriage.

It is also important to make a dedicated plan for change. Often apologies involving repentance fail because the person never set up steps of action to help ensure success. A person must first set goals for their change. After you create realistic goals, then you can start implementing a plan to change. Taking baby steps towards repentance instead of insisting on changing all at once will increase your chances of successfully changing your ways.

It is important to remember that change is hard. Constructive change does not mean we will immediately be successful. There will be highs and lows on the road to change. You must remember that with God’s help, anyone can change their ways if they are truly and genuinely ready to repent.

Make Restitution (4)

In our society, many people believe that wrong acts demand justice. The one who commits the crime should pay for their wrongdoing. A mate who speaks this love language feels the same way towards apologies. They believe that in order to be sincere, the person who is apologizing should justify their actions. The mate who’s been hurt simply wants to hear that their mate still loves them.

There are many effective ways to demonstrate sincerity in an apology. Each mate must learn the other’s love language in order to complete the act of restitution. Though some mates may feel as though all is forgotten with a bouquet of flowers, that may not necessarily work for all mates. Every mate should uncover what their partner’s main love language is (Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Acts of Service, Physical Touch, and Receiving Gifts) and use that specific language in order to make restitutions in the most effective way.

For a mate whose primary apology language is making restitutions, no matter how often you say “I’m sorry”, or “I was wrong”, your mate will never find the apology sincere. You must show strong efforts for making amends. A genuine apology will be accompanied by the assurance that you still love your mate 
and have a desire to right the wrong-doings committed.

Accept Responsibility (4)

It is very difficult for some people to admit that they’re wrong. It makes them doubt their self-worth, and no one likes to be portrayed as a failure. However, as adults, we must all admit that we are sinners and that we will make mistakes. We are going to make poor decisions that hurt our mates, and we are going to have to admit that we were wrong. We have to accept responsibility for our own failures. For many individuals, all they want is to hear the words, “I am wrong.” If the apology neglects accepting responsibility for their actions, many partners will not feel as though the apology was meaningful and sincere. Many partners need to learn how to overcome their ego, the desire to not be viewed as a failure, and simply admit that their actions were wrong. For a mate who speaks this apology language, if an apology does not admit fault, it is not worth hearing. Being sincere in your apology means allowing yourself to be weak, and admitting that you make mistakes. Though this may be hard to do for some people, it makes a world of a difference to your partner who speaks this language.

Expressing Regret (2)

“Expressing Regret” is the Apology Language that zeroes in on emotional hurt. It is an admission of guilt and shame for causing pain to another person. For those who listen for “Expressing Regret” apologies, a simple “I’m sorry” is all they look for. There is no need for explanation or “pay back” provided the apology has truly come from the heart. “Expressing Regret” is a powerful Apology Language because it gets right to the point. It doesn’t make excuses or attempt to deflect blame. Above all, “Expressing Regret” takes ownership of the wrong. For that reason, “Expressing Regret” is understood as a sincere commitment to repair and rebuild the relationship. The “Expressing Regret” Apology Language speaks most clearly when the person offering the apology reflects sincerity not only verbally, but also through body language. Unflinching eye contact and a gentle, but firm touch are two ways that body language can underscore sincerity.

Request Forgiveness (1)

In some relationships, a mate wants to hear their partner physically ask for forgiveness. They want assurance that their mate recognizes the need for forgiveness. By asking forgiveness for their actions, a partner is really asking their mate to still love them. Requesting forgiveness assures your mate that you want to see the relationship fully restored. It also proves to your mate that you are sincerely sorry for what you’ve done. It shows that you realize you’ve done something wrong. Requesting forgiveness also shows that you are willing to put the future of the relationship in the hands of the offended mate. You are leaving the final decision up to your partner – to forgive or not forgive.

Requesting forgiveness is not easy. It often leaves one vulnerable to the fear of rejection. Along with the fear of rejection is the fear of failing. Many people have a hard time seeking forgiveness because it means admitting that you have failed. The only way to overcome this fear is to recognize that it is very common amongst mankind. The commonality makes it okay to be a failure. It allows a stubborn mate to apologize to their partner and become a healthy individual.

Ultimately, it’s important to remember that there is a difference between asking for forgiveness and DEMANDING forgiveness. When we demand forgiveness, we tend to forget the nature of forgiveness. Forgiveness is a choice the offended party is supposed to make. Demanding forgiveness takes away the sincerity of asking for it.

Remember not to treat forgiveness lightly. It is something to be cherished and appreciated. The act of forgiveness is hard on both ends – for the person who’s asking and for the person who’s accepting.

HAPPY FORGIVING

MY LOVE LANGUAGES

As human, we know that we are all different. We have different way to talk, to do something, even to express our love. Therefore it's important to know our own love languages and also people around us. So that we can express our love rightly on the target. These are my love languages based on the test I did last week. My comments are in purple.

Quality Time (10)

In Quality Time, nothing says “I love you” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes you feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed activities, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.

Yep this is my first love language. I enjoy quality time, with my mom, dog, best friends, and of course later my spouse and children. I find it difficult to trust that someone loves me but that person is easily distracted. I believe that when two people love each other, they can really sit together and do nothing but still feel connected.

Physical Touch (8)

A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, and thoughtful touches on the arm—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.

I love hug, with people I love and I feel close. I love to hug mommy tightly to show that I love her so much, and also my dog. I love to kiss his forehead, or squeeze him tightly with all my heart. I hug my girls and my younger sisters in campus to show that I am very happy to see them.

Words of Affirmation (7)

Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.

Yes, sometimes we really need verbal recognition of how people love us. Would love to hear "I love you" everyday from my spouse, and won't hesitate to say that too! I really love when on my birthday my friends give me a card and write a long wish. Or because of distance, a very long text message, just like one of my best friend always does. Hehe. She also loves to get long wish so we always write a very very long wish with words that can brighten up our days. Also for Christmas card, I don't know why but it's really exciting to read a lot from our beloved. 

Receiving Gifts (3)

Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.

I love this too! It means that people think of me, and would love to share with me. Moreover, I really appreciate the effort when they think of what I like, what I need, what I want, and the effort to buy or make that gift. It means that they so love me that price doesn't matter to them. I feel that way too, I wouldn't mind the price if it's compared to my best friend's happy face. I also love the excitement when opening the gift, it's a like a surprise!

Acts of Service (2)

Can helping with homework really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most wants to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.

I feel loved too when people help me doing things. But why it's the last of the list, maybe because most of the time I don't realize that this is the act of love. I just think this is the act of kindness. Haha. Will pay attention more. 

Next: Apology Language 

What's yours? I would like to know! Don't hesitate to tag me the link.

Discover yours here: 5 Love Languages

20 THINGS TO DO BEFORE I DIE

As a check-list person, I tend to write everything down, the To Do List, and everything just to see it in better and systematic structure and this way really helps me to accomplish all well. I ever read that we should write down our dream too to get a better picture of it. Therefore I write this down, as a reminder, as a motivator, as an encouragement. I want to enjoy my life, live it to the fullest. I want to make my life meaningful for others, I want to glorify Christ in my life. Of course my plan is nothing compared to God's plan. So here it is, I am writing this but I just give Him the eraser to correct everything that He thinks better for me.

1. Making my mom happy

I want to take her to see the world, especially Chinese-speaking countries because she must be loving it! China, Singapore, Hong Kong, and if I can, I want to take her to Europe too. I want to make her proud of my academic achievement. It's something my mom understands. I want to be healthy so that mom won't worry. I want to give her a house to spend her old time with beloved ones. She loves gardening, making pastry, cooking, and sewing beautiful clothes. I want her to enjoy her old life doing things she loves.

2. Watching Super Show of Super Junior (✓)

I really love them for their sincere hearts, kind attitudes, good personalities, awesome talents, amazing  voices, childish and funny characters, and many more! Every time I watch their concerts on YouTube I always think that their Super Show is worth to watch! They don't only sing but they do a lot of entertainment there! Finally on April 29, 2012 after so much struggle I watched them, so close in front of my eyes!

Complete story:

Super Show Hysteria

Super Show Pre-Euphoria

Super Show Euphoria

3. Traveling around the world and visiting my dream countries

I want to visit a lot of places and I want to do a lot of local activities there, such as going to South Korea to try their Jjimjilbang (Korean Sauna), eat Bulgogi (Korean BBQ Beef), drink Soju (Korean Beer), visit SM Town Building, sleep in Hanok (Korean Traditional House), wear Hanbok (Korean Traditional Clothes), etc! My ultimate destination is Europe! I design this cover for my traveling journal, waiting to be filled! Complete list to be written soon.

4. Getting married and making my dream wedding a reality

As a woman of course I want to have my love story written by God and get married with the man He has chosen for me someday. I am a person of details and fan of sweet and cute things so I like to design My Dream Wedding. Well, of course, what's more important is not the wedding but the life after that. The Marriage itself. 

5. Playing music instrument like piano

I just have mastered a simple version of Amazing Grace and intro of Safe and Sound by Taylor Swift. I really can't learn without teacher, it feels so difficult and I make a slow progress. It makes me lazy to continue learning and I haven't touched my Solacio Cruz for months. But still, I have to be able to play a full song! Keep practicing!

6. Taking care of dogs and rabbits (✓)

This one, I have done it for rabbit: Louie, and am doing it for dog: Dogai. I will take care of them more after I move to a bigger house with garden! I want to adopt stray dogs and rabbits too. Give them new home, new family, and LOVE! I have uncountable and enough love for dogs and rabbits! Haha. If I can, I also want to make a shelter for them. I will call it Rainbow Bridge Shelter.

7. Taking picture with wild life animals (✓)

Done this! I cannot say whether I am satisfied or not actually. So yes I have taken picture with a white tiger but he was so sleepy and yes he looks cute but not cool. Haha. I want them to look cool and strong actually, but I don't have the gut to take a picture in that condition. So what should I do?

8. Hugging polar bear

I want to do this! I have to do this! I am a big fan of Polar Bear! They are not only extremely cute but also wonderfully cool! Since I love white and snow of course I like their fur and I can imagine that it will feel so warm and bouncy when I hug them. 

9. Writing and publishing Christian books

Since one of my visions in life is to serve and glorify Christ through writing, I really want to write a book about His unconditional love. I hope it can change people's lives just like the way some good books really change my life and thought. I have had the title in mind and how the content will be. The problem is, I just have written 2 pages of it and stop because I am not confident enough to continue it. But I will. Just pray for me. Hehe.

10. Joining a mission trip to a backwoods

I really want to do this. Going to the backwoods with people who have the same passion and fire for Christ to share about gospel through our actions. Embracing people with HIV, encouraging poor people in poor country, building house or school for them, teaching the children, etc.

11. Reading and understand the whole Bible in Indonesian and English

In the process of reading the Indonesian one. I don't know why it's so difficult to read the whole book from Genesis to Revelation. I never succeed to finish it. I'm ashamed of the fact that I can finish 1000 pages of a novel but I can't finish reading my Father's diary. But I have to. I don't want to die without knowing what's in my Father's heart. Hehe. Why I want to read the English one (King James Version), too, because my godmother said sometimes the translation is not really suitable. But the problem is, it's really hard to understand even when I read the Indonesian. Haha.

12. Sewing dresses and having my own clothing line

I have had the name for my clothing line! But I will start this business later not now.

13. Obtaining my Master Degree abroad

Well this one. I don't know how but I want to. Let's see.

14. Founding social organization

My biggest dream! I want to empower women and children (those who are really in needy condition not the ones who are lazy) so that they can improve their living instead of being beggars on the street. I want them to  gain their spirit and enthusiasm back. I want them to have dream and reach it. I want them to do something to earn money and help others with their money. I want them to feel secure and safe. I will call this organization HEAL. Haven't found the abbreviation though. Haha.

15. Building my own-designed house

I have been designing my dream house since I was a little kid. I love to draw every details. I remember I draw all the rooms separately in few pages. First page for bedroom design, second page for kitchen design, and so on. Even library, I draw all the books and I write the titles too! Haha. I can't find my design now because it's like years ago but everything in my mind is still the same. I want a medium house with a big garden with enough sun and air circulation. Well of course it will require few adjustments to my future husband's design. 

16. Watching the concert of Girls Generation

I have experience how it feels to be in Sapphire Blue Ocean, so now I want to be in Pink Ocean, too!

17. Watching the concert of Owl City and meeting Adam Young

18. Watching the concert of Taylor Swift

19. Becoming a great wife and mother and daughter in law

Now I am reading "Becoming the Woman God Wants Me to Be" and learning about Proverbs 31. I'm glad that we can find and learn a lot about this thing in Bible, a proof that God really designs marriage for a holy purpose. I really want to be a virtuous and submissive wife for my husband later so that we both can glorify God. There's also a book called "A Woman after God's Own Heart" and "A Wife after God's Own Heart" but I haven't read them yet. I know reading is not enough and I should apply what I read to people around me. I am still learning but I will do my best. I want to be a good mother for my children, and a good in law for my husband's family.

20. Holding KKR with my Alpha Omega Prayer Team

How I miss my godmother, godfather, and everyone! I hope we still have chance to do this.

Finally! I've finished writing what I want to do before I die or the second coming of Jesus Christ. Maybe there will be some addition to this list as time goes by. Now to end this post, all I can say is:

"Let Thy Will Be Done, not Mine. Amen."