Thursday, August 04, 2011

A NEW START, I START AGAIN

I will mark the thirtieth of July as the new start. Days ago, I'd been struggling with this "let go" thing. So in brief, I was supposed to let go something I liked, I loved, I adored so much, something which has been part of my life for years. Moreover, that something was not wrong. I thought it was not wrong. No problem to love that something, for bunny sake, I didn't harm, hurt, and injure anyone including myself. That something brought positive impact for me, made me happy, made me excited, made me laugh, made me cry for being touched. That something taught me about great values of life, broadened my imagination and creativity, and gave me excitement.

However, I had been wrong. What I had done by adoring and praising it apparently was not pleasing God. It can be said that I was addicted, too. I never knew that addiction of books or movies could be wrong. Now I have to admit that yes, I was wrong. All kind of addictions are wrong because without realizing it we had done idolatry. Moreover, what I liked contradicts the Bible. I had adored something God hates. Not only that, if I think it again, I even never read my Bible repeatedly for more than 10 times. I don’t remember all the characters and scenes in the Bible. I felt ashamed, really.

It’s not an easy decision, though. I’d loved it for 9 years. It’s difficult for me to let it go, to stop liking it and talking about it enthusiastically. I remained silent for a while, didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to hurt Him but I also couldn’t easily accept that what I liked had hurt Him. I still hardened my mind by thinking that it’s okay to keep liking it, it’s just a story! But I knew I’d lost the serenity every time I insisted and argued. Suddenly God reminded me of a story that I ever read and posted in my Facebook. The story about a pearl necklace. Of course I’d forgotten it, because I posted it in April 2010! It has been 1 year ago! I was surprised when I was reminded and yes, I knew that He comforted and convinced me to let go by reminding this story.


The Pearl Necklace Story

Jenny was a bright-eyed, pretty five-year-old girl.  One day when she and her mother were checking out at the grocery store, Jenny saw a plastic pearl necklace priced at $2.50. How she wanted that necklace and when she asked her mother if she would buy it for her, her mother said, "Well, it is a pretty necklace, but it costs an awful lot of money.  I'll tell you what. I'll buy you the necklace, and when we get home we can make up a list of chores that you can do to pay for the necklace.  And don't forget that for your birthday Grandma just might give you a whole dollar bill, too, Okay?"  Jenny agreed, and her mother bought the pearl necklace for her. Jenny worked on her chores very hard every day, and sure enough, her Grandma gave her a brand new dollar bill for her birthday.  Soon Jenny had paid off the pearls.

How Jenny loved those pearls. She wore them everywhere - to kindergarten, bed, and when she went out with her mother to run errands. The only time she didn't wear them was in the shower - her mother had told her that they would turn her neck green.

Now Jenny had a very loving daddy. When Jenny went to bed, he would get up from his chair every night and read Jenny her favorite story.

One night when he finished the story, he said, "Jenny, do you love me?"

"Oh yes, Daddy, you know I love you," the little girl said.

"Well, then, give me your pearls."

"Oh! Daddy, not my pearls!" Jenny said. "But you can have Rosy, my favorite doll.  Remember her? You gave her to me last year for my birthday And you can have her tea party outfit, too. Okay?"

"Oh no, darling, that's okay." Her father brushed her cheek with a kiss.  "Good night, little one."

A week later, her father once again asked Jenny after her story, “Do you love me?"

"Oh yes, Daddy, you know I love you."

"Well, then, give me your pearls."

"Oh, Daddy, not my pearls! But you can have Ribbons, my toy horse. Do you remember her?  She's my favorite.  Her hair is so soft, and you can play with it and braid it and everything. You can have Ribbons if you want her, Daddy," the little girl said to her father.

"No, that's okay," her father said and brushed her cheek again with a kiss.  "God bless you, little one. Sweet dreams."

Several days later, when Jenny's father came in to read her a story, Jenny was sitting on her bed and her lip was trembling.  "Here, Daddy," she said, and held out her hand. She opened it and her beloved pearl necklace was inside.  She let it slip into her father's hand.

With one hand her father held the plastic pearls and with the other he pulled out of his pocket a blue velvet box. Inside of the box were real, genuine, beautiful pearls. He had them all along.  He was waiting for Jenny to give up the cheap stuff so he could give her the real thing.
  
So it is with our Heavenly Father. He is waiting for us to give up the cheap things in our lives so that he can give us beautiful treasure.


Yes, I can’t deny now that He wants me to let it go. It’s just me who had been naughty and deafening my ears. I was just too stubborn combined with fear that I had to let it go. It’s been part of my life and I held it dearly, really dearly. Just like the lyric from a song Lead me to the Cross sounds like this:

Everything I once held dear, I count it all as lost.

Now I realize, once I commit myself to Christ, I have to be ready to lose everything that doesn’t come from Him. Just like when we love someone, but God simply says that, “No, my daughter, he is not the one for you.” Yes we are sad, but simply obey. Our Father knows best. It will be difficult, it needs process, yet later we will be able and we win. Just like this pearl necklace. What I had held so dear for all this time was my imitation one. Although I loved it so much, I should just give it up. God doesn’t want me to keep it because it will restrain me from the true genuine pearl He has prepared for me. All I can say is just, thank you. Thank you for giving me strength to let it go. I can as long as I am with You. 



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