WALKING WITH MYSAVIOUR

That small widget above is a reminder of how long I have been walking together with my Lord. A simple reminder that the longer time I have spent, the higher I should grow. December 30, 2008 was the day when I got baptized by Om Eka. It's been 4 years already. I still remember the first time I know Christ. I was at 6th grade in Elementary School, in 2000. Since my school is a Christian school, we learned about Christ and we had worship time every Friday. I enjoyed it, singing Christian songs and felt the joy, although I didn't think I would get closer to Him or would want to know Him more One of my friends invited me to her church and I refused, because I thought, "I have my own religion and I'm happy with that, so why bother with me?" Haha. 

When I was in Junior High School, same, the Christian one, I still participated in that worship routine without any burden. I could enjoy it since it wasn't bad at all. There was one day when our school had a retreat and they sang "Hallelujah" most of my friends cried. Confusedly I asked one of them, "Why are you crying?" and in my heart I said to myself, "Why I feel nothing." Well she explained something about Holy Spirit and I didn't understand. However, one day when I felt bad and sad, I didn't know why and how but I started praying to Jesus Christ. At that time I felt peace filled my heart with no words to describe. Since then, I felt that I liked this man. I even hadn't really understood about His sacrifice and His love to us, yet. I just thought, I liked this man named Jesus. He gave me peace, joy, and serenity that I didn't understand.

After that on April 10, 2003 I accepted Christ as my Saviour. However, I only knew so little about Him, after I realized it. I had Him as my God but He was not my everything. I prayed to Him but I didn't focus on Him. Maybe because at that time I was fifteen, the age when what's important was only our social life, friends and boys? Haha. So yeah, I accepted Him as my Saviour, period. 

Anyway, then until I met Mam Anik and joined the prayer fellowship in her house, I just realized that Christ is far more than that. He is not only a Saviour. He is everything! He is a doctor, a teacher, a brother, a best friend, a lawyer, a healer, a provider, a shepherd, a husband, and a father. In 2005 I knew that I have been falling in love with Him. I accepted Him as my everything and until now I can see that my life has been changing. 

As a doctor and healer, he cures me from my inner illness, all the bitterness toward my dad and relatives who ever hurt my mom. I always wanted an older brother before, because when I saw my friend, they had a brother that could protect them. And Christ is a perfect older brother for me, who cares about my story and problem, and always protects me from anything that can harm me. He is a teacher who teaches me anything about life. He teaches me about love, and forgiveness, and a lot of things in this life. A very patient teacher, I must say, for this student is really naughty and dumb. He is a best friend who accompanies me through every joy and sorrow. Never, he refuses to listen to my story. Never, he says he doesn't have time. Never, he says he is busy. Never, he says he is tired of my problem. There's no best friend like Him in this world. Although He also has blessed me with wonderful friends in this world. I love them so much, although they are not perfect and we still disappoint each other. It shows me that the only one who will never disappoint us is just Christ.

He is a great lawyer for He will defend me when someone intentionally hurts me. He doesn't defend me by hurting that person, no. He loves that person, too. He defends me by giving the heart of forgiveness, the eagerness to forgive and pray for that person, to give blessing to his life. He defends me in His own wise way. He is my provider, who provides everything I need. He knows what I need even before I mention it. He is a very faithful provider, and never late. He is my shepherd to whom I find rest. I can sleep without worry because I rest in His arm. He is the one who complete me and I shall not find my completeness in a man. I have learned that He may give me husband in this world so that we can glorify Him together in this world, but I am completely complete and satisfied in Him. Last but not least, He is a father I always long for. My biological father might not do his duty to his daughter, but Jesus Christ did and always will. He is the one who reminds me that I am worthy. I am His beloved daughter and He will do anything to protect me. A father is very important in a child's life, and I can say that Jesus Christ fills that role perfectly. Read "Why Children Need Their Fathers".

So, I think it has been 7 years since I fell in love with Christ and 4 years since I made the decision to follow Him and surrender everything in my life, every aspect, in the palm of His hand. My future, my parents, my dreams, my future husband, my future children, my vision and mission, my friends, my community, my surroundings, everything in my life. I don't think I am a good daughter for Him, yet still, He has always been a great father all this time. I haven't become what He wants me to be, but I'm so grateful that by His grace I'm not what I used to be. I still need to keep growing, more and more. There are still a lot of things we should fix in my life, even after our 4 years journey walking together. There are still a lot of branches to be cut to be fruitful. But I am glad I walk with Christ. I'm glad for His faithfulness and I will keep moving forward, knowing that I have the greatest companion to share this wonderful journey together, King of kings, and Lord of lords, Jesus Christ.