Great! My friend has posted and reminded and threatened me, it's your last day being 21, it's seconds to get older, old, old, old. Or menopause, they said. Hahaha. If a woman get menopause when she is 22, then what age should she gives birth? 10? Silly! But funny! :p
Anyway, I do not know what to write, I just want to leave trace in these last seconds. So I'm writing this when I am 21 and tomorrow when I write something again, I will be 22. WOW. It means I haven't touched my blog for 1 year? Hihi. Tomorrow I will be born at 6 p.m, so still 20 hours left to enjoy my youth! As if after this I will be a grandma! :))
Okay, yesterday was the first time of my life I tell my mom I love her. It's not an easy thing to say something about love directly. We have no habits to tell each other we love. In our family, we don't say it out loud. We don't say it. I even started intentionally hugging my mom since Senior High School. Because in my family, yes, we love, but we never mentioned that.
So the day before yesterday, I really wanted to say it, I dunno why. I really wanted to let her know how much I love her. I knew it didn't need words, we could let our mom know by our attitude and behavior. But I really wanted to let her know from my own mouth, because I never said it. But I'm always shy and I'm afraid of crying, hehe. So I had no courage and I postponed it. How could it be so scary? :p
I mentioned thousand times in my blog, facebook, or twitter that I love her. I mentioned in my heart and my prayer, to my friends, how much I love her. I also wrote it down, that I love her, in the card I gave her on her birthday. But to tell her directly from my mouth to her ears without any occasion, well yesterday was the first time!
And we just had a chit-chat, and suddenly I hugged her and said, "Mi, wa ai di" which means I love you in Hokkian. It's harder to say it in Hokkian than English or Indonesian because it's my mom vernacular language! Haha. And when I hugged her, I cried. Only a little, because it's a shame if I sobbed or cried like a baby. Only tears in the corner of my eyes. I felt relieved I mentioned that. Finally I told her! How was her response? She said this, "Of course, if not then how could you grow up till this big?" HAHAHA. I didn't and do not understand what's the correlation, but I think I can guess it. If it's not because of love, we won't survive together, I think. ^^
So, yeah, I thought and wondered myself, how could it take 22 years only to say those three simple words to someone I really love? The words are simple, but the meaning, deep, very deep, since I never said it to her directly, hehe. I really meant it when I said it mommy! :)