THERE AND BACK AGAIN

When I finished watching The Hobbit, I was so mesmerized (as usual) by Peter Jackson's work, although I knew it's slightly different from the book. I enjoyed the movie version, tho, even with this 'fictional' character of Tauriel, and her 'non-exist' love story with Kili, which was quite entertaining, and, hmm, sweet. Moreover the part when Tauriel asked, "Why does it hurt so much?" crying over Kili, and Thranduil finally admitted, "Because it was real". Oh, pardon me, I am not going to talk about them actually, I just can't help myself! That was one of my favorite part! #faintofexcitement

So, yeah, I was relieved that Bilbo went back home safe and sound, and the only thought in my mind was, "That feeling when they finally reach Shire, after all the adventures, hardship, friendship, tears, blood, fears, journeys. That feeling they wouldn't feel if they never left home. Before they start, they don't know what's ahead. But after they finish, every step is worth it." I am referring to Frodo and Sam as well, casting my mind back to the ending of Return of the King. 

I was thinking, maybe they would never feel that way when they saw their home, if they never left. It's just home, nothing special. Although it's Shire, and it's beautiful, but that's it. However the feeling turned completely different after their journey (that almost killed them like thousand times if I may add). Home was far more precious than ever.

But then I realized, hey, Frodo didn't go back to Shire safe and soundly. Instead, he had to leave Middle-Earth for the West. At first, I thought because he was stabbed by the Witch-king's morgul-blade, he couldn't be healed. People are questioning, though, and after I read this article, I am pretty sure it's because Frodo had simply lost something that couldn't be restored through the quest (besides all the wounds and losing his finger). As noted by Tolkien, "broken by a burden of fear and horror — broken down, and in the end made into something quite different". 

It makes me draw the conclusion that it's impossible to fight for something without cost, "that everything ends well, and gets tied up with a pretty ribbon." The fact that Frodo has achieved his quest but also can't recover from it, shows that there will always be price to pay. This novel simply shows that there will be consequences of fighting against evil.

So I stop thinking that it's a happy ending for Bilbo, Frodo, Sam, Merry, Pippin, and everyone involved. It's a good ending for the world, yes. But for them individually, there must be damage, seen or hidden, physically and/or mentally. Then I start to question, is the journey worth it? Is leaving your comfort zone worth it? Because in the end, it's not the same anymore. Everything changes. Even we do not return the same. We may gain something, but surely lost something. 

Suddenly this idea of leaving comfort zone for an adventure (or a greater good) didn't seem too thrilling anymore. I think then it all just depends on our choice. Do we prefer sitting there in our comfort zone, with the possibility to miss everything out there, or going out with the risk of losing something we have back there. 

Don't worry if you are confused with this writing. I am, too. And we have this quote:
"When you look back on your life, you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the ones you did."

So, which side I am on? I don't know.

One thing I know, if I am already half way to Mordor, I can't go back to Shire.

P.S. I found this!

Sam says, "It's like the great stories, Mr. Frodo, the ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end, because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines, it will shine out clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you, that meant something. Even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folks in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going because they were holding on to something."

"What are we holding on to, Sam?" Frodo sighs.

"That there's something good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for."