If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.
Good day, mate! It's supposed to be spring now in Perth, but we still have the cold breeze in the morning and at night. However, sunshine gives us enough warmth in the afternoon, though. I never imagine I will ever be this comfortable standing directly under the sun.
This will be a very long story, have you prepared your chips?
Prologue:
I started this journey on July 11, 2013. My flight from Jakarta to Perth was at 10 p.m. Can you believe that I just packed my stuff on D-day, as if I was going to travel for 3 days to Bandung instead of one year journey to another continent! Haha. It was hectic, really, but I had no choice.
So, I left my house at 5 p.m, wasn't brave enough to see my mom's eyes after hugging her because I didn't want to get a headache caused by crying too much. I tried hard to hold it. Just right after I got into the taxi there came very heavy rain and storm. But everything went smoothly and I only had my flight delayed like 20 minutes. So I arrived at Perth International Airport at 2 a.m and Elmo my friend had been there to pick me up.
I thought it would only be Elmo, because I had told my godmother, Mam Anik, not to come because I knew she was sick. I was so surprised that she came, too! It's been long time that I hadn't hug her and now I can do it any time.
We were greeted by the freezing bone-chilling winter in Australia, and it was raining, too. My friend who came with me laughed that I was weak because I wore a thick coat. He didn't wear any jacket, only T-shirts and shorts. Ha! Who's laughing now? He's freezing to death when we were heading to car park. Since we were hungry, Elmo bought us burger at McD, and it was 8 AUD! Oh, please, I shouldn't be shocked. Then Mam Anik gave us rice and egg to survive (haha). I lived in Elmo's house, and shared a room with two other girls. There were 8 people in that big house.
Sunday, I went to church for the first time. Sometimes the church members like to share some stuffs and foods at the corner and we may take what we need. At that time I took two hair-ties and a devotional calendar entitled Fearless. That's the right choice apparently, considering what I was about to face in front of me would be none other than FEAR.
So, here comes the testimony. I try to copy exactly what I wrote in my journal to present that real feeling (in purple). Actually I didn't specialize this journal for this journey. But it turned out that I chose the right name, this truly is my personal journey with Jesus.
Day 6: July 17, 2013
This is such difficult time for me. I feel so sick literally, Like mental illness. I just want to sleep and wake up at home, I really want to go home, just be with Mummy and Dogai. I am still jobless and it has been a week. I'm not usually afraid of the future, but now I'm afraid of the present. Oh God, I want to cry all the time. I feel so lonely and full of anxiety. It's depressing to be jobless. I should be strong, God has reminded me: Do not fear, don't be discouraged. I will be with you till the end of time.
Day 7: July 18, 2013
Hi God. So it has been a week. Or it's just a week. Thank you God for sending a lot of people to strengthen me. You are the only One I can rely on. It's so cold here, but I really enjoy my time alone with You. I may be stressful, but I still believe in You. Please give me joy that comes from above.
I have learned, that You are my Protector and my Provider. Please take away that I-want-to-go-home feeling. Or if You want to use this for Your glory, so be it. No matter how hard, as long as You are with me, I'll be okay.
Day 8: July 19, 2013
Hi God, today is not too cold, so I can write with good handwriting. I'm doing good Lord, thank you for all good people You have sent to me. I still haven't found a job yet but I trust You. Today, when I walk along the lakeside, I said to a bird, "Hey little birdie, you are so blessed." I envy them because they don't need to be frustrated about job. Then God reminds me about Matthew 6:26 that He takes care of little birdies and of course He will take care of me, too.
God, whatever job You give to me, I will do my best.
July 21, 2013
God's providence is awesome. I get many bacon and sausages from church. It's true that Jesus is our Provider, He will never let me starve. He will also never let me jobless.
July 23, 2013
My godmother said that she will always back me up in prayer, and that it's a privilege for me to be here and God has a big plan for me. And He will take care of me, He will provide. I should be strong. God, I want to be strong just like my mom and godmom. So, You are teaching me now.
Teaching me about faith, to see the things unseen
Teaching me about hope, to put my trust in the Lord
Teaching me about patience, to wait while God is working
Teaching me about providence, to lean on God for everything
Teaching me to be strong, even when all things seem going wrong
Teaching me about His kindness, that He is faithful, and He will take care of me.
God, thank you for providing me again. When I washed my hair before, I realized that I almost ran out of shampoo. And I thought, oh no I had to buy it (it's so expensive, 9$/bottle). But suddenly my godmom came to my house with shampoo and conditioner! Wow, my Lord is so cool. I didn't even tell her about shampoo. She just got a free shampoo today and just thought I would need it.
God, I just talked with mommy on Skype, and when I called Dogai, Dogai thought my voice came from the stairs like what's used to be, so he kept looking at the stairs. I am so sad. And all of the sudden, mommy cried. It made me cry, too. I'm sure when she signed out she continued crying. God, please give me strength. You are my protector, I know You will protect my mom. And God, I believe that You have prepared a job for me.
July 26, 2013
Today I am working as a casual kitchen hand at Spencer Village. God, please give me a full-time job. Because this one, they just call me when they need me, it can be only once a week. But I am grateful for this one. Today I find this sentence: "If you don't give up, you'll find it's true the answers you need will come to you."
July 27, 2013
I just write this morning about Psalms 37:4 "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desire of your heart." I really want to work with dogs since I miss my dog so much, then someone called me to ask if I'm available to take care of his house and two dogs while they go for holiday. I am so happy because this is the desire of my heart! How can they trust me, whom they know from Gumtree, without asking for police clearance and reference at all. I am really grateful for this! They also pay me good money! Pet sitting is the best job, indeed!
July 28, 2013
God, thank you for comforting me,
thank you for reminding me,
that this is a journey with Jesus,
journey between You and me.
August 2, 2013
I feel so hopeless after yesterday I spent all day long just to find job and get no response at all. And I thought, oh maybe I would never find someone who wanted to employ me. It's really sad. I, again, want to go home. I miss mommy and Dogai, I miss my comfort zone. I cried again this morning, but I should be strong.
August 4, 2013
Today at church I burst into tears. It's so silly, I know, but it just happened. I blame my PMS, and I'm in the state of depression and emotionally unstable. Plus, something happened on my way to church, which worsened my uncomfortable feeling. Haha. So, one of our caring church member approached me and asked with his fatherly and sympathetic face, "Do you like Perth?"
And I couldn't answer that question. There's three second-silence because I was thinking, "It's weird if I say no, but how can I say yes when I feel like really want to leave this city, I don't want to lie." So I didn't know what should I say and instead without realizing it my eyes have betrayed me. And I couldn't stop crying. Gee, I feel like a 15 year-old teenager.
That time, I just learned this one fact from my conversation with Mam Anik. She said, "Do you know why God takes you on this journey? Because He wants you to be strong." Usually, when people said that, I will think, "Oh yeah I should be strong."
But this time I just couldn't accept it and asked, "But why should I be strong?" In my mind, if the process to become strong should be this painful, then I don't want to be strong.
Then she said, "Because your mom needs to lean on you. And you need to be strong enough for your mom to lean on you."
Oh! That one is enough for me to understand.
August 13, 2013
It's a month already. I haven't found any full time job yet. I have moved to north. I have dropped a lot of resume in the shopping centres. I'll just surrender to You, please lead my steps, Lord.
August 23, 2013
Oh it's already one month and two weeks. God, please give me the best job in Your sight, not mine. And please help me to see with Your eyes. Oh God, I am so clueless at the moment. I see nothing in front of me.
August 25, 2013
This, got rejected. That, got no further info.
Hundreds application on Gumtree and no response at all.
Thousands rejection letters from online application and will be more.
Then this Friday my room-mate said her friend would give me cleaning job, but she just told me that this Sunday morning, the company was sold.
Seriously, for a second I felt like, "God, are you joking with me?"
You really want me to be strong, huh? But it's good. I don't cry hehe. Does it mean that I'm stronger now, God? I want to be like a woman in Proverbs 31. "She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come." Although I feel sad in my heart but I want to laugh at the days to come, instead of worrying.
And this morning, the sermon is really good. It's about going to God's direction, leaving the comfort zone, passing the not-so-comfortable road, heading to the place where God has prepared for us.
Oh, there must be something, right God? You want to teach me something. You are a wonderful God. Even if everything seems going wrong, You know the best. I will look for other jobs tomorrow. If You close one door, You will open another.
August 26, 2013
God, I really feel like giving up. It's almost two months. Want to call mommy but I'm afraid she will be worried. Want to share with Kebo but I'm afraid she'll be afraid to come, too. I only can share with You.
God, why not even one of my job applications get a response? What's wrong? Which part should be corrected?
August 27, 2013
Got called for interview by Airlite Cleaning Company! I hope I will get the job, because cleaning is a peaceful job for me, not hectic and no need to think and memorize a lot of things. And if I can work at Karrinyup Shopping Centre is better because it's really close to my house!
August 31, 2013
Got accepted as Casual staff at Karrinyup, done the induction, got the uniform and ID card! I called the site manager and was asked to come on Monday at 8 a.m.
September 2, 2013
This morning I went to Karrinyup, and met Cherie. Before I went there, I already prayed and asked God to give me nice supervisor, because I was afraid if I couldn't understand what she said, she would lose her patience with me. And He gave me Cherie, who's sweet and nice to me! Then she said if I want to wait, in November someone will quit and I can become a full time staff. After that I was given 4 hours to clean a room, then she took me to walk around with her and trained me about this mall patrol thing.
After that, when we finished, apparently one full time staff will quit this Wednesday, so Cherie just offered me to fill his shift and the operation manager of Airlite was there, too. So she approved immediately, asked me to sign my new schedule, congratulated me for this sudden change, and voila! I am a full time staff now! It's unbelievable! All I ever asked before: Cleaner, full time, Karrinyup. How cool is that?
So that's the story. After 52 days being jobless, just doing some casual random jobs, finally I got a full time job! God has proven the way He works; when He gives us quickly (like my job at FremantleMedia) He wants to increase our faith. When He gives us slowly, He wants to increase our patience. I have learned so many things in this waiting moment, and they are so precious that if I could turn back time, I would have chosen this way again.
As He always promises, "I don't say it will be easy, but yes it will be worth it." I can testify now that God set me to be jobless for almost two months is not without reason. In my depressed time, when I felt like doing nothing, all I wanted to do was reading His words. It's like the only thing that could make me relax. I can confess that it's the first time I really felt like depending on His words. It's the first time I felt like only can lean on Him, that He is my only strength. It's so worth it.
As you can see, it's so funny how one day I can be so faithful and the next day I turn to be so faithless. In the morning I can be so certain and at night I start to become doubtful. That's how depressing the situation is for me. All this anxious thought that time keeps running, as well as my money. It's like, day by day God was asking me, "Will you still believe in me even if tomorrow you are still jobless?" However, it has been such strength from above, through my friends, my godmother, my family, and all those quotes and scriptures I read and also the songs I sing.
I ever read this: I wonder if caterpillars know they're gonna fly some day or they just start building a cocoon and are like 'why am I doing this'. I felt like I was building a cocoon and I couldn't see anything in front of me. But He is faithful, really faithful. This journey He takes me on, it's not only about the money I can earn. It's more about the lessons I can learn. I'm leaving my comfort zone back there, which is hard for everyone. Know this quote? "We can never pass the ocean unless we have the courage to lose sight of the shore." Why I said it's not easy?
Because I can't swim.
Losing sight of the shore terrified me.
But Jesus walks on water. So even if I have to lose sight of the shore, at least I can always see Him and knowing that calms me down.
If you reach this end of the story, congratulation, because it's such a long story that I spent all day long to finish. Haha.
Now I know, why cleaner? Maybe you also wonder, why cleaner?
I have another story here: Being Humbled by God and here: God is in my Tomorrow.
Prologue:
I started this journey on July 11, 2013. My flight from Jakarta to Perth was at 10 p.m. Can you believe that I just packed my stuff on D-day, as if I was going to travel for 3 days to Bandung instead of one year journey to another continent! Haha. It was hectic, really, but I had no choice.
So, I left my house at 5 p.m, wasn't brave enough to see my mom's eyes after hugging her because I didn't want to get a headache caused by crying too much. I tried hard to hold it. Just right after I got into the taxi there came very heavy rain and storm. But everything went smoothly and I only had my flight delayed like 20 minutes. So I arrived at Perth International Airport at 2 a.m and Elmo my friend had been there to pick me up.
I thought it would only be Elmo, because I had told my godmother, Mam Anik, not to come because I knew she was sick. I was so surprised that she came, too! It's been long time that I hadn't hug her and now I can do it any time.
We were greeted by the freezing bone-chilling winter in Australia, and it was raining, too. My friend who came with me laughed that I was weak because I wore a thick coat. He didn't wear any jacket, only T-shirts and shorts. Ha! Who's laughing now? He's freezing to death when we were heading to car park. Since we were hungry, Elmo bought us burger at McD, and it was 8 AUD! Oh, please, I shouldn't be shocked. Then Mam Anik gave us rice and egg to survive (haha). I lived in Elmo's house, and shared a room with two other girls. There were 8 people in that big house.
Sunday, I went to church for the first time. Sometimes the church members like to share some stuffs and foods at the corner and we may take what we need. At that time I took two hair-ties and a devotional calendar entitled Fearless. That's the right choice apparently, considering what I was about to face in front of me would be none other than FEAR.
So, here comes the testimony. I try to copy exactly what I wrote in my journal to present that real feeling (in purple). Actually I didn't specialize this journal for this journey. But it turned out that I chose the right name, this truly is my personal journey with Jesus.
Day 6: July 17, 2013
This is such difficult time for me. I feel so sick literally, Like mental illness. I just want to sleep and wake up at home, I really want to go home, just be with Mummy and Dogai. I am still jobless and it has been a week. I'm not usually afraid of the future, but now I'm afraid of the present. Oh God, I want to cry all the time. I feel so lonely and full of anxiety. It's depressing to be jobless. I should be strong, God has reminded me: Do not fear, don't be discouraged. I will be with you till the end of time.
Day 7: July 18, 2013
Hi God. So it has been a week. Or it's just a week. Thank you God for sending a lot of people to strengthen me. You are the only One I can rely on. It's so cold here, but I really enjoy my time alone with You. I may be stressful, but I still believe in You. Please give me joy that comes from above.
I have learned, that You are my Protector and my Provider. Please take away that I-want-to-go-home feeling. Or if You want to use this for Your glory, so be it. No matter how hard, as long as You are with me, I'll be okay.
Day 8: July 19, 2013
Hi God, today is not too cold, so I can write with good handwriting. I'm doing good Lord, thank you for all good people You have sent to me. I still haven't found a job yet but I trust You. Today, when I walk along the lakeside, I said to a bird, "Hey little birdie, you are so blessed." I envy them because they don't need to be frustrated about job. Then God reminds me about Matthew 6:26 that He takes care of little birdies and of course He will take care of me, too.
God, whatever job You give to me, I will do my best.
July 21, 2013
God's providence is awesome. I get many bacon and sausages from church. It's true that Jesus is our Provider, He will never let me starve. He will also never let me jobless.
July 23, 2013
My godmother said that she will always back me up in prayer, and that it's a privilege for me to be here and God has a big plan for me. And He will take care of me, He will provide. I should be strong. God, I want to be strong just like my mom and godmom. So, You are teaching me now.
Teaching me about faith, to see the things unseen
Teaching me about hope, to put my trust in the Lord
Teaching me about patience, to wait while God is working
Teaching me about providence, to lean on God for everything
Teaching me to be strong, even when all things seem going wrong
Teaching me about His kindness, that He is faithful, and He will take care of me.
God, thank you for providing me again. When I washed my hair before, I realized that I almost ran out of shampoo. And I thought, oh no I had to buy it (it's so expensive, 9$/bottle). But suddenly my godmom came to my house with shampoo and conditioner! Wow, my Lord is so cool. I didn't even tell her about shampoo. She just got a free shampoo today and just thought I would need it.
God, I just talked with mommy on Skype, and when I called Dogai, Dogai thought my voice came from the stairs like what's used to be, so he kept looking at the stairs. I am so sad. And all of the sudden, mommy cried. It made me cry, too. I'm sure when she signed out she continued crying. God, please give me strength. You are my protector, I know You will protect my mom. And God, I believe that You have prepared a job for me.
July 26, 2013
Today I am working as a casual kitchen hand at Spencer Village. God, please give me a full-time job. Because this one, they just call me when they need me, it can be only once a week. But I am grateful for this one. Today I find this sentence: "If you don't give up, you'll find it's true the answers you need will come to you."
July 27, 2013
I just write this morning about Psalms 37:4 "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desire of your heart." I really want to work with dogs since I miss my dog so much, then someone called me to ask if I'm available to take care of his house and two dogs while they go for holiday. I am so happy because this is the desire of my heart! How can they trust me, whom they know from Gumtree, without asking for police clearance and reference at all. I am really grateful for this! They also pay me good money! Pet sitting is the best job, indeed!
July 28, 2013
God, thank you for comforting me,
thank you for reminding me,
that this is a journey with Jesus,
journey between You and me.
August 2, 2013
I feel so hopeless after yesterday I spent all day long just to find job and get no response at all. And I thought, oh maybe I would never find someone who wanted to employ me. It's really sad. I, again, want to go home. I miss mommy and Dogai, I miss my comfort zone. I cried again this morning, but I should be strong.
August 4, 2013
Today at church I burst into tears. It's so silly, I know, but it just happened. I blame my PMS, and I'm in the state of depression and emotionally unstable. Plus, something happened on my way to church, which worsened my uncomfortable feeling. Haha. So, one of our caring church member approached me and asked with his fatherly and sympathetic face, "Do you like Perth?"
And I couldn't answer that question. There's three second-silence because I was thinking, "It's weird if I say no, but how can I say yes when I feel like really want to leave this city, I don't want to lie." So I didn't know what should I say and instead without realizing it my eyes have betrayed me. And I couldn't stop crying. Gee, I feel like a 15 year-old teenager.
That time, I just learned this one fact from my conversation with Mam Anik. She said, "Do you know why God takes you on this journey? Because He wants you to be strong." Usually, when people said that, I will think, "Oh yeah I should be strong."
But this time I just couldn't accept it and asked, "But why should I be strong?" In my mind, if the process to become strong should be this painful, then I don't want to be strong.
Then she said, "Because your mom needs to lean on you. And you need to be strong enough for your mom to lean on you."
Oh! That one is enough for me to understand.
August 13, 2013
It's a month already. I haven't found any full time job yet. I have moved to north. I have dropped a lot of resume in the shopping centres. I'll just surrender to You, please lead my steps, Lord.
August 23, 2013
Oh it's already one month and two weeks. God, please give me the best job in Your sight, not mine. And please help me to see with Your eyes. Oh God, I am so clueless at the moment. I see nothing in front of me.
August 25, 2013
This, got rejected. That, got no further info.
Hundreds application on Gumtree and no response at all.
Thousands rejection letters from online application and will be more.
Then this Friday my room-mate said her friend would give me cleaning job, but she just told me that this Sunday morning, the company was sold.
Seriously, for a second I felt like, "God, are you joking with me?"
You really want me to be strong, huh? But it's good. I don't cry hehe. Does it mean that I'm stronger now, God? I want to be like a woman in Proverbs 31. "She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come." Although I feel sad in my heart but I want to laugh at the days to come, instead of worrying.
And this morning, the sermon is really good. It's about going to God's direction, leaving the comfort zone, passing the not-so-comfortable road, heading to the place where God has prepared for us.
Oh, there must be something, right God? You want to teach me something. You are a wonderful God. Even if everything seems going wrong, You know the best. I will look for other jobs tomorrow. If You close one door, You will open another.
August 26, 2013
God, I really feel like giving up. It's almost two months. Want to call mommy but I'm afraid she will be worried. Want to share with Kebo but I'm afraid she'll be afraid to come, too. I only can share with You.
God, why not even one of my job applications get a response? What's wrong? Which part should be corrected?
August 27, 2013
Got called for interview by Airlite Cleaning Company! I hope I will get the job, because cleaning is a peaceful job for me, not hectic and no need to think and memorize a lot of things. And if I can work at Karrinyup Shopping Centre is better because it's really close to my house!
August 31, 2013
Got accepted as Casual staff at Karrinyup, done the induction, got the uniform and ID card! I called the site manager and was asked to come on Monday at 8 a.m.
September 2, 2013
This morning I went to Karrinyup, and met Cherie. Before I went there, I already prayed and asked God to give me nice supervisor, because I was afraid if I couldn't understand what she said, she would lose her patience with me. And He gave me Cherie, who's sweet and nice to me! Then she said if I want to wait, in November someone will quit and I can become a full time staff. After that I was given 4 hours to clean a room, then she took me to walk around with her and trained me about this mall patrol thing.
After that, when we finished, apparently one full time staff will quit this Wednesday, so Cherie just offered me to fill his shift and the operation manager of Airlite was there, too. So she approved immediately, asked me to sign my new schedule, congratulated me for this sudden change, and voila! I am a full time staff now! It's unbelievable! All I ever asked before: Cleaner, full time, Karrinyup. How cool is that?
So that's the story. After 52 days being jobless, just doing some casual random jobs, finally I got a full time job! God has proven the way He works; when He gives us quickly (like my job at FremantleMedia) He wants to increase our faith. When He gives us slowly, He wants to increase our patience. I have learned so many things in this waiting moment, and they are so precious that if I could turn back time, I would have chosen this way again.
As He always promises, "I don't say it will be easy, but yes it will be worth it." I can testify now that God set me to be jobless for almost two months is not without reason. In my depressed time, when I felt like doing nothing, all I wanted to do was reading His words. It's like the only thing that could make me relax. I can confess that it's the first time I really felt like depending on His words. It's the first time I felt like only can lean on Him, that He is my only strength. It's so worth it.
As you can see, it's so funny how one day I can be so faithful and the next day I turn to be so faithless. In the morning I can be so certain and at night I start to become doubtful. That's how depressing the situation is for me. All this anxious thought that time keeps running, as well as my money. It's like, day by day God was asking me, "Will you still believe in me even if tomorrow you are still jobless?" However, it has been such strength from above, through my friends, my godmother, my family, and all those quotes and scriptures I read and also the songs I sing.
I ever read this: I wonder if caterpillars know they're gonna fly some day or they just start building a cocoon and are like 'why am I doing this'. I felt like I was building a cocoon and I couldn't see anything in front of me. But He is faithful, really faithful. This journey He takes me on, it's not only about the money I can earn. It's more about the lessons I can learn. I'm leaving my comfort zone back there, which is hard for everyone. Know this quote? "We can never pass the ocean unless we have the courage to lose sight of the shore." Why I said it's not easy?
Because I can't swim.
Losing sight of the shore terrified me.
But Jesus walks on water. So even if I have to lose sight of the shore, at least I can always see Him and knowing that calms me down.
If you reach this end of the story, congratulation, because it's such a long story that I spent all day long to finish. Haha.
Now I know, why cleaner? Maybe you also wonder, why cleaner?
I have another story here: Being Humbled by God and here: God is in my Tomorrow.
Love,
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