WHY CHILDREN NEED THEIR FATHERS

There's a day when my friend shared fatherless fact in WAO group that said "most people without father become criminals and end up in jail" and I thought, wow thank God I'm not one of them. But then I realized it's because of Jesus that I didn't do anything worst in my life (I almost). I also watched a movie titled Courageous, and they presented the same facts. That movie is such a blessing. It has taught me more than I expected. Go buy the original DVD and watch it, hehe. So, thinking about what Jesus Christ has done to my life by becoming a great father for a fatherless daughter like me, I can say I'm so grateful and I don't dare to imagine what my life would be without Him. I want to share this as a gentle reminder too, for women out there, we do not only marry a man who will become our husband, but also the father of our children. So, pray a lot, really, for your future husband. Anyway, let's check the interesting facts below. Facts and Quotes will be in purple.

He’s not here. Some 24.7 million American children (36.3 percent) live without their biological fathers. Only 60 percent of these children have seen their fathers in the past year.

This survey is in America but I'm pretty sure it happens worldwide. Of course we don't have that control if our father passed away, but I think most fatherless children become fatherless because their father simply don't care. That's why, for all gentlemen out there, do not leave your wife and children. You have no idea what kind of life they have to bear without a good husband and father at home.

Side effects. Children living without their biological fathers, on average, are more likely to be poor and to have educational, health, emotional, and psychological problems, to suffer child abuse, and to engage in criminal behavior, than peers living with their married, biological mother and father.

Fatherless homes produce:

63 % of youth suicides (Bureau of the Census) - I wanted to suicide when I was in Junior High School.

90 % of all homeless and runaway children (CDC) - I also wanted to run away from home at the same time.

85 % of all children with behavioral disorders (CDC) - I had problems with that obviously.

85 % of all youths in prisons (Fulton Co. Georgia jail populations, TX Dept. of Corrections 1992) - This one, no, but I ever stole my mom's money.

No substitute. As a male parent, a father brings unique contributions to the job of parenting that a mother cannot. There is no substitute for a father’s love, involvement and presence in the life of his children. As noted sociologist David Popenoe explains, “Fathers are far more than just ‘second adults’ in the home. Involved fathers—especially biological fathers—bring positive benefits to their children that no other person is as likely to bring.” – Why Children Need Father Love and Mother Love and How Fathers Matter for Healthy Child Development, both by Glen P. Stanton, Focus on the Family. (Original Source: David Popenoe, Life Without Father New York: The Free Press, 1996), p. 163.

Yes this is so true! My mom is awesome and beyond words. She has taught me a lot of things and becomes my best friend ever. Yet, still, at that time when I was teenager, I felt so lost. There's a thing my mother couldn't give me. That secure feeling. I didn't have it because I was fatherless, and worse, Christ-less.

Five Things You Didn't Know Fathers Do:

• Fathers Teach Empathy—A 26-year study published by the American Psychological Association found that children with actively involved fathers in their lives are more likely to be sensitive to the needs of others in adulthood compared to those who do not have involved fathers.

• Fathers Give Confidence—Fathers are more likely to challenge their children to try difficult things by taking safe and measured risks. Fathers’ more physical and active play style and slower response to help their children through frustrating situations creates greater problem-solving capacity and confidence in both boys and girls.

• Fathers Increase Vocabulary—Children who spend extended time with their dads during their childhoods are more likely to have larger and more complex vocabularies A mother, being more attentive to the needs of her children, tends to talk more on the level of the child. Dads’ directions to their children tend to be longer than moms’, providing children with the opportunity to hear more words and then learn how they fit together to convey a thought.

I don't have any comment for these four things above because I feel pretty good with them. Maybe here my mom can be proud because she has become an awesome single parent for me. Sensitivity and empathy, I have it, too much if I may say. Confidence, well in sufficient portion. Vocabulary, yes I think I have enough since my intelligence is more in verbal or linguistics.

• Fathers Protect Against Crime and Violence—Fathers are more likely to keep their sons out of gangs, but more importantly, fathers give boys the things that can make gang life attractive. Boys learn from their dads that they matter, and don’t feel they have to force their way into manhood. Likewise, girls with good fathers are not as likely to fall to the pressure of sexually enterprising young boys, because well-fathered girls are more confident, having already gained the love of a good man.

• Fathers Promote Better Treatment of Women—A good father demonstrates to both sons and daughters how a good man should treat women. This is shown by a father’s role modeling, as well as his less-than-good behavior. Research from the University of California looked at 90 different cultures to study how men’s participation in child care related to the status of women in these cultures. They found a very close connection, explaining, “Societies with significant paternal involvement in routine child care are more likely than father-absent societies to include women in public decisions and to allow women access to positions of authority.”

(Summary of Study Findings, 2009 National Fathering Survey, © 2009 National Center for Fathering)

Source: Courageous - Fatherhood Facts

These two are really important for me, and they are the significant proofs of how children really need the figure of a father, and that role is irreplaceable even by the greatest mother in the world. These are the tweets from Pastor Murphy:

Why your daughter needs her dad: To show her how a lady is to be treated.

Why your son needs his dad: To teach him how to lovingly respect women.

Why your daughter needs her dad: To help her take risks that will help build her self confidence.

Why your son needs his dad: To teach him that a real man walks in reverence of God.

Why your daughter needs her dad: To show her what a trustworthy man is like.

Why your son needs his dad: To demonstrate to him that willingly sacrificing for his family is necessary for their good.

Why your daughter needs her dad: To hold her tenderly when she cries.

Why your son needs his dad: To show him that it’s OK to cry in the midst of pain.

Why your daughter needs her dad: To demonstrate for her that true love is unconditional.

Why your son needs his dad: To show him how a real man faithfully protects, provides & leads his family.

Why your daughter needs her dad: To teach her that her value as a person is much more than the way she looks.

So true, isn't it? As a woman, I ever had that experience and from what I read, a lot of women out there suffered for it too. I wanted to find a man who can protect me and change my life, since I never felt protected by my own father. I felt loved when a man tapped my head and stroked my hair. I know that feeling is not wrong. But it may become the biggest mistake if because of that feeling we give everything to a man whom we think may protect us and fulfill what we need: love, security, affection, attention, and so on. It will be wrong when we go too far in a relationship, get involved in physical activity more instead of knowing each other deeper, only because we want to be accepted, loved, and protected. It will be wrong when we seek men to satisfy our thirst of affection, which I once did.

We concern too much on our physical appearance, we do everything to get accepted by society, to fit the image this world has set. For example, we think we will be loved by men if we are slim, and we do unhealthy diet just to get a supermodel body (which means we destroy God's temple -1 Cor 3:17, but of course it's not wrong if we do it healthily for the sake of our health, just look at our motivation).

We won't do that if we have a father who plays his role well. If we understand what we deserve and how we should be treated, that we worth more than we look, that our confidence shall not based on our appearance, that not all men are trustworthy, that true love is not unconditional, that we do not need to show love to not-our-husband by physical activity. There are a lot of things I didn't know and understand because of this father-absence. Even when our biological fathers are present, but if they don't play their role well, yes, we may still face that kind of insecurity.

Therefore Christ comes into my life to reveal the truth that I should listen from my father. He fills the emptiness of father position in my life and teaches me that I am His daughter, worthy more than anything, and the only man who can protect me perfectly and change my life is Jesus alone. My value is not in my outer appearance, but inner. Now I know that I don't need to compromise anything, that I am completely loved and accepted by Christ, my Father, and it's sufficient for me. And for you, too.

For further reading, I suggest: What a Girl Needs from her Father.

Jesus Christ loves us, always does, always will.