WALKING WITH MYSAVIOUR

That small widget above is a reminder of how long I have been walking together with my Lord. A simple reminder that the longer time I have spent, the higher I should grow. December 30, 2008 was the day when I got baptized by Om Eka. It's been 4 years already. I still remember the first time I know Christ. I was at 6th grade in Elementary School, in 2000. Since my school is a Christian school, we learned about Christ and we had worship time every Friday. I enjoyed it, singing Christian songs and felt the joy, although I didn't think I would get closer to Him or would want to know Him more One of my friends invited me to her church and I refused, because I thought, "I have my own religion and I'm happy with that, so why bother with me?" Haha. 

When I was in Junior High School, same, the Christian one, I still participated in that worship routine without any burden. I could enjoy it since it wasn't bad at all. There was one day when our school had a retreat and they sang "Hallelujah" most of my friends cried. Confusedly I asked one of them, "Why are you crying?" and in my heart I said to myself, "Why I feel nothing." Well she explained something about Holy Spirit and I didn't understand. However, one day when I felt bad and sad, I didn't know why and how but I started praying to Jesus Christ. At that time I felt peace filled my heart with no words to describe. Since then, I felt that I liked this man. I even hadn't really understood about His sacrifice and His love to us, yet. I just thought, I liked this man named Jesus. He gave me peace, joy, and serenity that I didn't understand.

After that on April 10, 2003 I accepted Christ as my Saviour. However, I only knew so little about Him, after I realized it. I had Him as my God but He was not my everything. I prayed to Him but I didn't focus on Him. Maybe because at that time I was fifteen, the age when what's important was only our social life, friends and boys? Haha. So yeah, I accepted Him as my Saviour, period. 

Anyway, then until I met Mam Anik and joined the prayer fellowship in her house, I just realized that Christ is far more than that. He is not only a Saviour. He is everything! He is a doctor, a teacher, a brother, a best friend, a lawyer, a healer, a provider, a shepherd, a husband, and a father. In 2005 I knew that I have been falling in love with Him. I accepted Him as my everything and until now I can see that my life has been changing. 

As a doctor and healer, he cures me from my inner illness, all the bitterness toward my dad and relatives who ever hurt my mom. I always wanted an older brother before, because when I saw my friend, they had a brother that could protect them. And Christ is a perfect older brother for me, who cares about my story and problem, and always protects me from anything that can harm me. He is a teacher who teaches me anything about life. He teaches me about love, and forgiveness, and a lot of things in this life. A very patient teacher, I must say, for this student is really naughty and dumb. He is a best friend who accompanies me through every joy and sorrow. Never, he refuses to listen to my story. Never, he says he doesn't have time. Never, he says he is busy. Never, he says he is tired of my problem. There's no best friend like Him in this world. Although He also has blessed me with wonderful friends in this world. I love them so much, although they are not perfect and we still disappoint each other. It shows me that the only one who will never disappoint us is just Christ.

He is a great lawyer for He will defend me when someone intentionally hurts me. He doesn't defend me by hurting that person, no. He loves that person, too. He defends me by giving the heart of forgiveness, the eagerness to forgive and pray for that person, to give blessing to his life. He defends me in His own wise way. He is my provider, who provides everything I need. He knows what I need even before I mention it. He is a very faithful provider, and never late. He is my shepherd to whom I find rest. I can sleep without worry because I rest in His arm. He is the one who complete me and I shall not find my completeness in a man. I have learned that He may give me husband in this world so that we can glorify Him together in this world, but I am completely complete and satisfied in Him. Last but not least, He is a father I always long for. My biological father might not do his duty to his daughter, but Jesus Christ did and always will. He is the one who reminds me that I am worthy. I am His beloved daughter and He will do anything to protect me. A father is very important in a child's life, and I can say that Jesus Christ fills that role perfectly. Read "Why Children Need Their Fathers".

So, I think it has been 7 years since I fell in love with Christ and 4 years since I made the decision to follow Him and surrender everything in my life, every aspect, in the palm of His hand. My future, my parents, my dreams, my future husband, my future children, my vision and mission, my friends, my community, my surroundings, everything in my life. I don't think I am a good daughter for Him, yet still, He has always been a great father all this time. I haven't become what He wants me to be, but I'm so grateful that by His grace I'm not what I used to be. I still need to keep growing, more and more. There are still a lot of things we should fix in my life, even after our 4 years journey walking together. There are still a lot of branches to be cut to be fruitful. But I am glad I walk with Christ. I'm glad for His faithfulness and I will keep moving forward, knowing that I have the greatest companion to share this wonderful journey together, King of kings, and Lord of lords, Jesus Christ.

WHY CHILDREN NEED THEIR FATHERS

There's a day when my friend shared fatherless fact in WAO group that said "most people without father become criminals and end up in jail" and I thought, wow thank God I'm not one of them. But then I realized it's because of Jesus that I didn't do anything worst in my life (I almost). I also watched a movie titled Courageous, and they presented the same facts. That movie is such a blessing. It has taught me more than I expected. Go buy the original DVD and watch it, hehe. So, thinking about what Jesus Christ has done to my life by becoming a great father for a fatherless daughter like me, I can say I'm so grateful and I don't dare to imagine what my life would be without Him. I want to share this as a gentle reminder too, for women out there, we do not only marry a man who will become our husband, but also the father of our children. So, pray a lot, really, for your future husband. Anyway, let's check the interesting facts below. Facts and Quotes will be in purple.

He’s not here. Some 24.7 million American children (36.3 percent) live without their biological fathers. Only 60 percent of these children have seen their fathers in the past year.

This survey is in America but I'm pretty sure it happens worldwide. Of course we don't have that control if our father passed away, but I think most fatherless children become fatherless because their father simply don't care. That's why, for all gentlemen out there, do not leave your wife and children. You have no idea what kind of life they have to bear without a good husband and father at home.

Side effects. Children living without their biological fathers, on average, are more likely to be poor and to have educational, health, emotional, and psychological problems, to suffer child abuse, and to engage in criminal behavior, than peers living with their married, biological mother and father.

Fatherless homes produce:

63 % of youth suicides (Bureau of the Census) - I wanted to suicide when I was in Junior High School.

90 % of all homeless and runaway children (CDC) - I also wanted to run away from home at the same time.

85 % of all children with behavioral disorders (CDC) - I had problems with that obviously.

85 % of all youths in prisons (Fulton Co. Georgia jail populations, TX Dept. of Corrections 1992) - This one, no, but I ever stole my mom's money.

No substitute. As a male parent, a father brings unique contributions to the job of parenting that a mother cannot. There is no substitute for a father’s love, involvement and presence in the life of his children. As noted sociologist David Popenoe explains, “Fathers are far more than just ‘second adults’ in the home. Involved fathers—especially biological fathers—bring positive benefits to their children that no other person is as likely to bring.” – Why Children Need Father Love and Mother Love and How Fathers Matter for Healthy Child Development, both by Glen P. Stanton, Focus on the Family. (Original Source: David Popenoe, Life Without Father New York: The Free Press, 1996), p. 163.

Yes this is so true! My mom is awesome and beyond words. She has taught me a lot of things and becomes my best friend ever. Yet, still, at that time when I was teenager, I felt so lost. There's a thing my mother couldn't give me. That secure feeling. I didn't have it because I was fatherless, and worse, Christ-less.

Five Things You Didn't Know Fathers Do:

• Fathers Teach Empathy—A 26-year study published by the American Psychological Association found that children with actively involved fathers in their lives are more likely to be sensitive to the needs of others in adulthood compared to those who do not have involved fathers.

• Fathers Give Confidence—Fathers are more likely to challenge their children to try difficult things by taking safe and measured risks. Fathers’ more physical and active play style and slower response to help their children through frustrating situations creates greater problem-solving capacity and confidence in both boys and girls.

• Fathers Increase Vocabulary—Children who spend extended time with their dads during their childhoods are more likely to have larger and more complex vocabularies A mother, being more attentive to the needs of her children, tends to talk more on the level of the child. Dads’ directions to their children tend to be longer than moms’, providing children with the opportunity to hear more words and then learn how they fit together to convey a thought.

I don't have any comment for these four things above because I feel pretty good with them. Maybe here my mom can be proud because she has become an awesome single parent for me. Sensitivity and empathy, I have it, too much if I may say. Confidence, well in sufficient portion. Vocabulary, yes I think I have enough since my intelligence is more in verbal or linguistics.

• Fathers Protect Against Crime and Violence—Fathers are more likely to keep their sons out of gangs, but more importantly, fathers give boys the things that can make gang life attractive. Boys learn from their dads that they matter, and don’t feel they have to force their way into manhood. Likewise, girls with good fathers are not as likely to fall to the pressure of sexually enterprising young boys, because well-fathered girls are more confident, having already gained the love of a good man.

• Fathers Promote Better Treatment of Women—A good father demonstrates to both sons and daughters how a good man should treat women. This is shown by a father’s role modeling, as well as his less-than-good behavior. Research from the University of California looked at 90 different cultures to study how men’s participation in child care related to the status of women in these cultures. They found a very close connection, explaining, “Societies with significant paternal involvement in routine child care are more likely than father-absent societies to include women in public decisions and to allow women access to positions of authority.”

(Summary of Study Findings, 2009 National Fathering Survey, © 2009 National Center for Fathering)

Source: Courageous - Fatherhood Facts

These two are really important for me, and they are the significant proofs of how children really need the figure of a father, and that role is irreplaceable even by the greatest mother in the world. These are the tweets from Pastor Murphy:

Why your daughter needs her dad: To show her how a lady is to be treated.

Why your son needs his dad: To teach him how to lovingly respect women.

Why your daughter needs her dad: To help her take risks that will help build her self confidence.

Why your son needs his dad: To teach him that a real man walks in reverence of God.

Why your daughter needs her dad: To show her what a trustworthy man is like.

Why your son needs his dad: To demonstrate to him that willingly sacrificing for his family is necessary for their good.

Why your daughter needs her dad: To hold her tenderly when she cries.

Why your son needs his dad: To show him that it’s OK to cry in the midst of pain.

Why your daughter needs her dad: To demonstrate for her that true love is unconditional.

Why your son needs his dad: To show him how a real man faithfully protects, provides & leads his family.

Why your daughter needs her dad: To teach her that her value as a person is much more than the way she looks.

So true, isn't it? As a woman, I ever had that experience and from what I read, a lot of women out there suffered for it too. I wanted to find a man who can protect me and change my life, since I never felt protected by my own father. I felt loved when a man tapped my head and stroked my hair. I know that feeling is not wrong. But it may become the biggest mistake if because of that feeling we give everything to a man whom we think may protect us and fulfill what we need: love, security, affection, attention, and so on. It will be wrong when we go too far in a relationship, get involved in physical activity more instead of knowing each other deeper, only because we want to be accepted, loved, and protected. It will be wrong when we seek men to satisfy our thirst of affection, which I once did.

We concern too much on our physical appearance, we do everything to get accepted by society, to fit the image this world has set. For example, we think we will be loved by men if we are slim, and we do unhealthy diet just to get a supermodel body (which means we destroy God's temple -1 Cor 3:17, but of course it's not wrong if we do it healthily for the sake of our health, just look at our motivation).

We won't do that if we have a father who plays his role well. If we understand what we deserve and how we should be treated, that we worth more than we look, that our confidence shall not based on our appearance, that not all men are trustworthy, that true love is not unconditional, that we do not need to show love to not-our-husband by physical activity. There are a lot of things I didn't know and understand because of this father-absence. Even when our biological fathers are present, but if they don't play their role well, yes, we may still face that kind of insecurity.

Therefore Christ comes into my life to reveal the truth that I should listen from my father. He fills the emptiness of father position in my life and teaches me that I am His daughter, worthy more than anything, and the only man who can protect me perfectly and change my life is Jesus alone. My value is not in my outer appearance, but inner. Now I know that I don't need to compromise anything, that I am completely loved and accepted by Christ, my Father, and it's sufficient for me. And for you, too.

For further reading, I suggest: What a Girl Needs from her Father.

Jesus Christ loves us, always does, always will.

HAVE A MERRY LITTLE CHRISTMAS

Happy Christmas Everyone! Let the peace of Christ be with you! 

Mommy and I make this clothes for Dogai as Christmas is coming to town.

Have yourself a merry little Christmas!

WORKING ON X-FACTOR INDONESIA

Hari ini jam 8 malem nanti Jemma bakal terbang balik ke Sydney, yang berarti berakhir pula tugas gw di RCTI. Jadi dari kemaren Jumat tanggal 14 November itu tim X-Factor minta gw bantuin jadi interpreter buat Jemma Carlton. Jemma ini Executive Producer bagian Post Production dari FremantleMedia Australia. Tapi jam kerjanya kan dari jam 1 siang sampe jam 12 malem. Nah, Mbak Ocha juga ga mungkin suruh gw kan klo ampe malem gitu, tar yang kerjain translation lain sama kerjaan HR siapa? Lagian klo pulang malem gitu rencananya mau cari cowok. Gw juga agak males sih buat ke RCTI soalnya listening gw kan ga gitu bagus, dan gw ga ngerti istilah-istilah editing takutnya malah salah translateinnya. 

Senin, Mbak Ocha email bilang gw ga usah ke RCTI karena butuhnya cuma buat malem dari jam 5 sore jadi mereka mau cari interpreter dari luar, freelance aja. Gw udah seneng tuh, asik ga jadi. Haha gw kan deg-degan juga ga tau bule yang bakal gw hadepin kaya apa, klo dy ga sabaran gimana? Kalo gw bikin salah kan jadi ga enak. Eh siangnya, berubah lagi. Producer kita minta lagi orang buat temenin Jemma. Pada saat itu kami juga masih belom dapet siapa yang bisa freelance malem. Akhirnya Mbak Ocha suruh gw kesana dulu jam 1 sampe  jam 5 liat keadaan, biar kita bisa tau juga mau cari interpreter kaya apa buat yang malem. 

Akhirnya tibalah gw di RCTI. Editing X-Factor itu di gedung Anex, yang masuknya ribet banget tiap pintu pake access card, dan anak FM ga da yang dikasih haha. Jadi kita musti minta dibukain pintu gitu. Jemma sih dapet. Nah disanalah gw akhirnya ngobrol sama Jemma dan ngerasai kalo Inggrisnya dia ga susah buat dimengerti. Ternyata dia aslinya orang London, jadi logat Britishnya kental, tapi sangat jelas. Ga kaya bule di kantor gw yang asli British tapi klo ngomong ga jelas banget. Well, setelah itu ternyata yang harus gw lakukan adalah terjemahin apa yang diomongin di dalem video-video itu per kalimat supaya Jemma ngerti dan nangkep dan bisa turun tangan buat ngutak-ngutik. Gw juga harus terjemahin lagi apa yang Jemma mau ke bahasa Indonesia supaya editornya bisa ngikutin apa maunya Jemma. Kalo editornya udah nangkep sih ga usah diterjemahin lagi, dan karena Inggrisnya Jemma sangat mudah dimengerti, tugas gw ga gitu berat hehe.

Setelah itu, jam 5 sore gw balik dan janji bakal ngabarin Jemma gimana kelanjutannya, siapa yang akan nemenin dia. Karena gw jelasin juga kondisi di kantor gw kerjain apa aja. Gw bilang klo misalnya malem gw ga bisa, karena pulangnya susah. Dia bilang gw boleh pake supir dia. Jadi gw bilang, gw akan tanya sama supervisor gw dan ngabarin dia, kalo ga bisa, kita akan cariin interpreter malem buat dia. 

Besoknya, hari Selasa, gw berbagi hasil observasi gw sama Mbak Ocha nih, tentang apakah gw bener-bener harus ke sana atau mungkin cukup dengan Jemma ditemenin para PA aja. Eh lagi diskusi, tiba-tiba kepala Om muncul di pintu trs langsung ngomong ke gw dengan sangat memohon gitu, "Martina, you really need to go there and help Jemma, she really needs you!", dan bilang sama Mbak Ocha, "Martina should go to RCTI, just give her the laptop and modem so that she can work there." Haha. Trs ya udahlah kalo udah Om yang minta berarti bener-bener butuh dan gw ga bisa nolak haha. Tapi abis itu gw tersadar, percuma juga gw dikasih laptop, emang bisa ya gw translate dokumen sambil interpret isi video ke Jemma? Mustahil itu mah, haha jadi gw ga bawa apa-apa deh ke RCTI, kayanya sih emang lagi ga da translation juga. Akrhinya Mbak Ocha bilang gw tiap hari kerja dari jam 1 sampe 9 aja langsung di RCTI dan pulangnya dianterin supir. Okelah kalo begitu.

Maka gw sms-lah Jemma buat ngabarin kabar bahagia itu dan dy seneng bgt. Dy bakal jemput gw di kantor buat berangkat bareng ke RCTI. Itu sekitar jam 11 ya. Tiba-tiba abis lunch, jam 1 gitu, bener-bener abis suapan terakhir  nih, kepala gw berasa muter-muter dan gw kaya mo pingsan gitu. Gw cepet duduk donk, eh malah mual jadi gw lari ke WC dan muntah. Gile! Kaget gw, kenapa nih? Masa iya keracunan makanan? Yang bener aja, gw udah janji mo ke RCTI cuy! Gw coba tiduran di sofa lantai 1, tapi ga membaik. Muntah beberapa kali, gw udah pake minyak kayu putih, tetep ga membaik. Akhirnya Mbak Ida, office girl kantor gw dateng buat ngerokin gw, mijitin gw. Dy blg darah rendah gw mungkin makin turun karena makan kol, dan masuk angin pulak. Trs karena itu di bawah AC, gw pindah ke ruangan gw biar AC-nya bisa dimatiin. Tapi gw butuh baringan, jadi gw pindah ke lantai 3 tiduran di kursi pijit. Eh malah pada ngetawain gw katanya gw mo difoto disitu haha. 

Akhirnya gw coba tiduran, dan minta Mbak Ocha sms Jemma klo gw sakit. Pada saat itu sakit gw bener-bener unbearable ditambah gw sedih ga bisa menuhin janji gw ke RCTI buat bantuin Jemma, akhirnya menetes deh air mata gw. Eh Om waktu itu lewat dan dikira gw nangis karena gw ga mau disuruh ke RCTI jadi gw curhat ke office girl, wakakak. Kocak. Jadi gitu deh, gw disuruh pulang pun ga bisa karena takut muntah di mobil. Akhirnya jam setengah 4 setelah cukup yakin ga bakal muntah lagi, gw pulang naik taksi dibayarin kantor. Di taksi 2,5 jam coi, baru nyampe rumah dalam keadaan sekarant jam 6! Argonya Rp. 100.000,- klo bayar sendiri udah nangis darah gw.

Cepat-cepatlah gw beristirahat dengan harapan besok bisa sembuh dan nemenin Jemma. Thank God besoknya hari Rabu gw udah ngerasa sehat dan berangkatlah ke RCTI naik busway, katanya sih naik yang Lebak Bulus. Busnya datang lamaaaa banget sampe gw ga punya waktu lagi buat nunggu karena udah telat nunggu satu jam, gw cepet-cepet naik ojek dari Harmoni ke RCTI. Semuanya berjalan lancar sampe pas Jemma kenalin gw ke editor lain dy bilang, "My wonderful translator." Hehe senang. 

Pas kita makan malem bareng dy cerita-cerita deh, ternyata dy tuh udah 4 bulan ga pernah lama di rumah gara-gara traveling terus. Jadi ceritanya dy tuh baru balik 1 hari nyampe di rumah, eh FM Australia bilang Indonesia kan lagi bikin X-Factor untuk pertama kali jadi dy dikirim kesini buat bantu Post Pro-nya. Gw aja baru tau klo Jemma ini Executive Producer loh, dy terlihat muda dan rendah hati banget. Gw lumayan ngobrol banyak sama dy dan gw seneng banget bisa practice speaking dan listening terus seharian, trs lega juga waktu dy bilang Inggris gw bagus. Best part-nya adalah, pas gw cerita gw pengen ke Aussie tapi katanya working holiday visa itu dapetinnya susah, dy bilang, "I'll give you my email and I can write a reference letter for you!" Ah! Harapan gw langsung membumbung tinggi klo gini mah, hehe, surat referensi dari seseorang dengan jabatan tinggi di perusahaan besar. 

Gw banyak ngobrol ngalor-ngidul sama dy, gw ga gitu inget detailnya, tapi ada satu hal yang ga bakal gw lupa. Jadi ceritanya Jemma nih digigit nyamuk. Gw bilang donk, dy pasti digigit mosquito. Gw bacanya "moskuito", eh dy ketawa donk. Hahaha. Kata dy, gw lucu bilang moskuito, padahal bacanya moskito. Lah gw baru tau! Haha berasa bego ga sih gw? Lulusan Sastra Inggris bo! Selama ini gw pikir emang bener moskuito dari SD juga gw taunya itu, jadi ga pernah cek lagi phoneticnya di kamus Oxford. Hahaha. Untungnya dy bilang, "It's okay, your pronunciation is 99% correct, I know it's hard." Haha. Gw juga baru tanya sama dia cicak bahasa Inggrisnya apa, ternyata gecko. Trs ada lagi, kan kita lagi kena macet, trs gw bilang kita jalan kaya kura-kura. Turtle. Dy bilang, "Oh you mean tortoise?" Gw bilang, "Turtle." Trs dy bilang, tapi turtle kan yang di laut. Kalo yang di darat Tortoise. Ya ampun! Gw baru sadar kalo ternyata turtle itu penyu! Tortoise yang kura-kura. Selama ini gw kebalik, lah dari TK kan kalo dibuku bergambar, emang gambarnya kura-kura dan Inggrisnya turtle kan? Bener kan? Ato gw doank yang selama ini salah mengerti? Hehe. 

 Tortoise

Turtle

Selain itu dy juga cerita gimana mereka ngerayain Christmas di London, trs tentang Bondi Beach di Sydney. Gw baru tau bacanya "bondai". Oh yeah, pas kita lagi ngobrolin artikel tentang Simon Cowell, gw kan nyebutnya "Simon" ya gara-gara kebiasaan bahasa Indo, haha dy ketawa, dy bilang "Saimon?" Oh yeah, gw lupa gw lagi ngobrol sama bule. Hihi, jadi ceritanya gw baca di Kompas ada artikel yang judulnya Simon Cowell bakal dateng jadi juri X-Factor Indonesia. Gw baca donk, secara, pengen tau siapa yang ngomong nih? Eh ternyata yang ngomong Glenn, bos bule gw di FM haha. Ternyata itu baru kemungkinan doank. Lagian gw pikir mana mungkin, hebat bener Simon ampe dateng ke Indo haha. Lebih bagus lagi klo mereka bisa datengin One Direction! Hehe. 

Anyway, selain practice English dan dapet cerita-cerita seru dari Jemma, gw juga jadi belajar banyak tentang produksi acara dan editing. Istilah-istilah kaya montage, POD, wide shot, dll. Gimana ngedapetin feel suatu bagian dengan masukin potongan musik yang tepat, pokoknya seru banget deh. Gw juga baru tau klo bahkan untuk 1 episode program besar kaya gini, diperlukan paling tidak 1-2 bulan buat proses post-production doank. Editing-nya sendiri makan waktu lama dan perlu banyak editor, dengan shift malem dan pagi. Gw bener-bener kagum sama orang yang kerja di TV. Jam kerjanya bener-bener gila, tapi mereka bisa melakukan itu dengan baik. Muka mereka walopun capek tapi tetep serius loh kerjanya. Sedangkan gw yang karena macet ga bisa pulang dan jadi nongkrong di situ sampe jam 1 pagi mukanya udah ngantuk tiada tara gitu haha. Padahal kita sama-sama udah kerja dari pagi.

Selain itu, selama seminggu kerja di ruang editing RCTI gw bisa ambil beberapa kesimpulan. Disana itu ga boleh makan dan minum, jadi musti ke luar dulu baru boleh. Yang artinya ga bisa kerja sambil ngemil, dan gw yang udah sering kelupaan minum, makin malaslah gw buat keluar cuma buat minum doank. Mana ga punya kartu akses. Udah gitu toiletnya juga jauh. Males pipis pula-lah gw. Pokoknya judulnya males. Haha. Udah gitu, ga ada jendela dan sinar matahari dan sirkulasi udara gitu, jadi ga ngerti saat itu jam berapa, nanti tiba-tiba liat jam udah malem aja gitu. Yang paling parah adalah AC-nya central dan dingin banget. Semua orang tuh disana udah kaya winter, pake jacket, sweater, dan coat super tebel yang gembung itu. Bahkan dengan itu semua pun masih berasa dingin. Gw jadi mensyukuri kantor gw yang toiletnya deket, sirkulasi udara dan sinar matahari baik, ditambah gw bebas makan minum di mana aja dan remote AC bebas di atur-atur sesuka kita (termasuk remote TV haha).

 Our favorite spot, seperti kata Jemma.

Tampak depan setelah masuk gerbang, kolam besar itu favorit gw. 

Kata Sinyo sih itu kolam-nya sitkom OB.

Intinya sih, pengalaman ini sangat gw syukuri. Tadi pas berpisah Jemma bilang, "I'll always think of you when I say mosquito." HAHAHA. Dia jadi inspirasi banget deh buat gw, orangnya ramah dan enak buat kerja bareng. Diajak jalan juga fun. Pas kita cari makan di Mall Puri kan mobilnya ngelewatin tempat banyak pohon dan lagi ujan gitu dy bilang, "It's exciting!". Dy juga panjang sabar walopun disini macetnya parah, dy bilang sih, "It's crazy" tapi ga ngomel. Oh ya, pas hujan badai langit item dan angin menderu-deru kencang gitu tampangnya shock sambil terus-terusan geleng-geleng bilang, "It's scary!". Hihi, gw jadi bertanya-tanya emang disana ga da yang kaya gini ya? By the way, sekarang udah hampir jam 8 jadi mestinya dy udah siap-siap terbang balik ke Sydney. Safe flight Jemma, it's been a great pleasure to work with you!

GO LIGHT YOUR WORLD

 There is a candle in every soul

Some brightly burning, some dark and cold

There is a Spirit who brings a fire

Ignites a candle and makes His home

So carry your candle, run to the darkness

Seek out the helpless, confused and torn

Hold out your candle for all to see it

Take your candle, and go light your world

Take your candle, and go light your world

Frustrated brother, see how he's tried to

Light his own candle some other way

See now your sister, she's been robbed and lied to

Still holds a candle without a flame

So Carry your candle, run to the darkness

Seek out the lonely, the tired and worn

Hold out your candle for all to see it

Take your candle, and go light your world

Take your candle, and go light your world

Cause We are a family whose hearts are blazing

So let's raise our candles and light up the sky

Praying to our Father, in the name of Jesus

Make us a beacon in darkest times

So Carry your candle, run to the darkness

Seek out the hopeless, deceived and poor

Hold out your candle for all to see it

Take your candle, and go light your world

Carry your candle, run to the darkness

Seek out the helpless, confused and torn

Hold out your candle for all to see it

Take your candle, and go light your world

Song by Chris Rice
Video by Five O Generation (GPdI Ketapang)

THE KIND OF WORLD WE ARE LIVING IN

I wonder what kind of world we are living in,

where hatred is like the air, 

we can find it anywhere.

A world without so much peace,

and people that's hard to please.

They forget to respect each other, 

and that different opinions shouldn't bother.

We all living together and sharing this earth,

why should we burst out the wrath?

I really wonder what kind of world we are living in,

where people turn the tragedy into comedy,

and think that there's something funny.

They make joke about some people die,

and laughing at people who cry.

Hard to expect any empathy, 

when people no longer have sympathy,

moreover when bad things happen to their enemy.

I thought I know what kind of world we are living in,

a very cruel world contains of very cruel people,

where people will always judge you whatever you do.

So what's the point of being good and doing something true?

Wait.

There's something I may haven't seen.

There's a pearl inside the oyster,

and a rainbow after the rain.

I see a hero after disaster,

and love after the pain.

I know there will always be negative response,

anger, wrath, hatred, sarcasm, quarrel, 

provocation and confrontation,

which lead this human kind to deeper degradation and frustration,

and make us forget our function,

that we can still make a little restoration.

But a little kindness will do, a little care is enough,

although what we face is maybe something tough.

As long as we are not trapped in apathy,

and choose not to listen and see.

Just like those who help endlessly,

and bring smile to the needy.

I think I know now,

that the kind of world we are living in,

is like a mirror, that reflects back what we are doing.

Shall we do good, this world will be good.

Each of us, one by one,

begin with a small and simple thing to do.

Mock less, judge less, insult less, hate less.

Love more, care more, smile more, understand more.

So that this world we are living in,

may become the kind of world worth living.

Sequel of the first poem: What Kind of World We are Living In?

Yes, although the moral degradation of this world is like in despair, and human kind seems so hopeless,

I am grateful that we still can find a lot of great and kind people, and love shared everywhere.

It warms my heart. Thank you Jesus Christ, for teaching  us how to love. 

I dedicate this poem for Victoria, for her bravery and sacrifice, and also for all heroes and warriors of love out there, and for all the volunteers, you are all my inspiration!

WHAT KIND OF WORLD WE ARE LIVING IN?

People mock each other,

as if they are right and others are wrong.

People hurt each other,

as if they don't know the pain other people should bear.

People kill each other,

as if someone's life has no value.

People insult other people's religion,

as if they are sure they are righteous enough in front of God.

People hate others,

as if there's no enough hatred in this world.

People make joke over a tragedy,

as if laughing at crying people is fun.

People judge other people,

as if they are better than them.

People speak so sarcastically, 

as if they know what others are facing.

People wish karma on people who hurt them,

as if they are so clean and sinless.

People steal something from others,

as if they are the only ones who need it.

People envy each other,

as if they never get enough.

People feel satisfied when their enemy falls,

as if they are so good that they won't ever experience that.

I just don't understand, 

what kind of world we are living in?

Why do people become more and more wicked through the ages?

Please tell me,

what kind of world we are living in?

—Edwig

Jakarta, December 15, 2012

This poem is about most people nowadays, and it's really a big concern for us.
Written on behalf of those victims of Sandy Hook Elementary School, 

as the reaction of what happened and all the negative comments from some people.

We may never know how it feels before it happens to us.

Next post: The Kind of World We Are Living In

WANITA YANG RAJIN

Setelah belajar tentang keutuhan dan kelengkapan kita sebagai wanita di dalam Yesus Kristus dan menyerahkan hidup kita tanpa ragu di Bab 1, sekarang kita akan mengambil langkah selanjutnya untuk menjadi yang terbaik bagi Allah dalam masa penantian. Mari belajar tentang Wanita yang Rajin.

Masa lajang kita adalah masa yang sangat baik untuk melayani Tuhan semaksimal mungkin, apalagi sebagai wanita, waktu kita masih belum terbagi antara suami dan anak-anak. Mungkin kita bisa coba tengok para istri yang udah jadi ibu, sibuk dan repotnya bukan main, apalagi kalo anaknya masih kecil-kecil. Katanya wanita yang sudah menikah itu 3 kali lipat lebih sibuk daripada wanita lajang lho. Banyak dari mereka berkata susah untuk memiliki Time Alone with God, karena bahkan waktu untuk Me Time aja ga ada.

Jadi apakah kita masih berpikir bahwa keadaan single ini menyedihkan? Apakah para lajang adalah orang-orang yang patut dikasihani? No No No! Justru kita harus bersyukur karena dalam keadaan ini kita punya waktu lebih banyak untuk melayani Tuhan tanpa gangguan. Justru waktu yang tepat untuk memanfaatkan setiap kesempatan adalah masa lajang kita. Setiap orang percaya harus menggunakan waktunya dengan bijaksana, seperti kata firman Tuhan di Efesus 5:15-17 yang berkata bahwa kita harus memperhatikan baik-baik cara hidup kita, hidup seperti orang-orang bijak yang menggunakan sebaik-baiknya setiap kesempatan yang ada pada kita, dan menyelidiki apa yang dikehendaki Tuhan.

Sebagai wanita lajang, kita bisa melakukan hal-hal yang tidak dapat dilakukan wanita yang telah menikah karena tanggung jawabnya sebagai istri dan ibu. Ironisnya, sebagian wanita lajang dapat menjadi sangat tertekan karena status lajangnya sehingga mereka secara emosi lebih mengalami banyak gangguan dibandingkan dengan seorang istri dan ibu dari empat orang anak. 

Nah, jadi daripada kita galau-galau di rumah pas malam minggu mikirin kejombloan dan kesendirian kita, lebih baik kita menyadari bahwa waktu yang dipercayakan di titik kehidupan kita saat ini sangatlah berharga dan terlalu sayang untuk disia-siakan. Daripada kita menolak jam-jam kesendirian kita, lebih baik kita rangkul waktu-waktu tersebut sebagai hadiah dari Allah, satu paket berisi kesempatan-kesempatan untuk melayani-Nya. Kesempatan tersebut hanya dapat dibatasi oleh kekurangtaatan dan rasa mengasihani diri sendiri.

Sebagai wanita, adalah suatu pemikiran yang salah kalo kita menyangka kehidupan kita dimulai setelah menikah. Kita menunggu sampai ada pria yang datang mengubah hidup kita, membawa kita keluar dari masa lajang yang membosankan dan sepi. Tapi sebenarnya, pria itu sudah datang! Yesus telah datang mengubah hidup kita, mengangkat kita dari kehidupan penuh dosa, dan menawarkan hidup baru bersama-sama, ga ada lagi kebosanan dan kesepian, karena kita begitu berapi-api bersama Dia. Seorang wanita lajang memiliki kecantikan klasik ketika ia belajar bagaimana menggunakan waktu luangnya bagi Yesus dan bukannya duduk di rumah bergalau-galau ria atau sibuk menebar pesona dan mengejar-ngejar pria. 

Kita bukan wanita yang menunggu datangnya pasangan hidup dan duduk diam. Kita adalah wanita dalam penantian yang menyerahkan semuanya kepada Tuhan dan menggunakan masa-masa ini dengan sebaik-baiknya. Ada beberapa cara yang dapat kita lakukan untuk menjadi Wanita yang Rajin.

1. Kerajinan dan Pelayanan Mengajar dan Penatalayanan
Apa kita rindu membagikan firman Tuhan kepada anak-anak? Kita bisa jadi guru sekolah minggu. Kita bisa berbagi kabar keselamatan dengan orang-orang yang bertanya dan ingin tahu. Kita ga perlu sekolah alkitab untuk bisa melakukan ini. Kuncinya adalah gunakan waktu dengan bijaksana. Kita bisa banyak membaca buku dan merenungkan firman Tuhan, sehingga kita bisa mengajar yang kita telah ketahui kepada mereka yang belum tahu. Kita bisa pergi ikut pelayanan misi ke daerah-daerah, sesuatu yang akan sulit kita lakukan setelah menikah.

2. Kerajinan dan Pelayanan Pemberi Semangat
Mungkin kita ada dalam posisi dimana seseorang butuh motivasi dan dorongan semangat dari kita. Kita bisa memberikan itu pada mereka, supaya dengan perkataan kita dapat memberi semangat baru pada orang yang letih lesu, dengan hikmat tentunya. Dengan banyak berlatih, akan memberikan kesempatan istimewa untuk menjadi selang air Allah di tempat banyak orang-orang kehausan.

3. Kerajinan dan Pelayanan Doa
Apa kita punya partner doa? Kalo belum punya, cari yuk. Ajak teman, kakak rohani, adik rohani, atau siapapun yang memiliki kerinduan pelayanan yang sama untuk menjadi partner doa kita. Dengan partner doa, kita dapat berdoa sepakat dan melayani banyak orang melalui doa-doa kita. Seperti di poin 2, misalnya keadaan tidak memungkinkan untuk kita memberi motivasi lewat kata-kata, kita bisa menolong dengan doa.

4. Kerajinan dan Pelayanan Menulis
Melayani dengan menulis dapat membuat si penerima membacanya lagi dan lagi. Seperti sebagian besar isi Perjanjian Baru yang merupakan surat-surat bagi orang percaya. Nah, mungkin kita tidak bisa menulis yang panjang-panjang, tapi menuliskan beberapa kalimat pembangkit semangat di kartu atau email dan memberikannya pada orang lain dapat menyegarkan mereka lho, dan terus dikenang karena bisa dibaca lagi.

5. Kerajinan dan Pelayanan Mendengar
Pelayanan ini membutuhkan hikmat dan kerendahan hati. Ketika orang sedang dalam masa sulit dan mungkin membutuhkan kita untuk mendengar, jangan membuat kesalahan dengan menyampaikan kata-kata yang kita rasa benar namun sebenarnya tidak perlu. Waktu seseorang berduka, kehadiran kita menyediakan lebih banyak kekuatan daripada kata-kata. Waktu seseorang berbeban berat, kita bisa mendengarkan dan berdoa dalam hati daripada secara verbal memberi solusi atas masalah itu. Merasa puas mendengarkan adalah hadiah yang bisa kita berikan pada orang itu. Kadang-kadang lagu atau kebenaran teragung bukanlah hal yang cocok pada masa krisis. "Orang yang menyanyikan nyanyian untuk hati yang sedih adalah seperti orang yang menanggalkan baju di musim dingin, dan seperti cuka pada luka." (Amsal 25:20).

6. Kerajinan dan Pelayanan Pertolongan
Pelayanan yang satu ini menuntut tindakan kita, bahkan yang sederhana juga bisa. Misalnya dengan memasak bagi gereja, atau tetangga kita, atau teman-teman kita. Jadi kita masak bukan cuma untuk pria incaran agar kita terlihat seperti calon istri ideal dan bertujuan memikat dia. Hehe. Atau kita jago jahit, kita bisa bikin baju untuk anak-anak panti asuhan sebagai proyek Natal kita. Selain itu, melayani bukan hanya di gereja, atau untuk orang-orang seiman, atau untuk pekerjaan-pekerjaan yang kelihatannya berhubungan dengan Tuhan. Menolong teman kita pindah rumah, atau cuci piring saat dia sibuk, apapun itu, adalah pelayanan pertolongan. Kecuali menolong memberi contekan atau berbuat hal-hal yang tidak dikehendaki Tuhan ya. Hehe. "Apapun juga yang kamu perbuat, perbuatlah dengan segenap hatimu seperti untuk Tuhan dan bukan untuk manusia." (Kolose 3:23).

Mungkin kita merasa hal-hal yang kita lakukan sangat sepele, monoton, dan tidak mengesankan. Atau pelayanan kita tidak dilihat orang sehingga tidak ada yang merespon. Tenang! Bapa kita di Surga melihat dan menghargai itu. Justru malah lebih baik begitu daripada kita sengaja melayani agar dilihat orang dan mendapat pujian manusia. Jadi kalo setelah ini ada tawaran untuk menolong melakukan sesuatu yang kelihatannya tidak menarik, jangan ragu, ini adalah kesempatan kita untuk berlatih terus menjadi wanita yang rajin.

Setelah kita terbiasa fokus pada Tuhan dan mengisi masa lajang kita sebaik-baiknya, justru nanti setelah kita menikah kita akan terus memiliki produktifitas itu. Kita akan selalu punya Time Alone with God, waktu yang cukup untuk suami dan anak-anak kita, dan terus melayani Tuhan, karena kita telah berlatih dari sekarang bagaimana menggunakan waktu dengan bijaksana. Semangat ya, mari kita sama-sama berlatih jadi wanita yang rajin!

Next: Wanita yang Beriman

WANITA DENGAN PENYERAHAN TANPA RAGU

Hello! Hari ini kita akan belajar Bab pertama dari buku Lady in Waiting alias Wanita dalam Penantian. Akan ada beberapa perumpamaan dari berbagai sumber juga supaya lebih jelas. Pada Bab pertama ini, kita belajar menjadi seorang wanita dengan penyerahan tanpa ragu. Kepada siapa? Yuk dibaca! 

Sebagai wanita, pernah ga kalo dateng ke pesta pernikahan orang atau keluarga, lalu ditanya, "Kapan nih giliran lo?" Pasti sering ya. Trs gimana reaksi kita? Mungkin macem-macem, ada yang dengan yakin jawab, "Abis ini donk!", atau ada yang masih sendiri dan jadi galau, trs kepikiran sampe rumah deh. 

Emang sih, wanita pasti ingin menikah, ingin bertemu dengan pangerannya dan hidup bahagia selama-lamanya. Kita mikirnya, kalo udah nikah rasanya hidup gw udah lengkap. Sebagai wanita hidupku sudah utuh karena punya suami. Tapi jangan heran kalo setelah menikah, kita merasa kecewa bahwa ternyata hal-hal tersebut sama sekali ga mengisi rongga atau kekosongan di dalam hati kita. Kenapa?

Karena sejak semula, kita diciptakan untuk dilengkapi oleh Yesus. Bahwa hanya Yesuslah satu-satunya kekasih jiwa yang bisa membuat kita merasa utuh dan lengkap sebagai manusia dan juga wanita. Kita mungkin berpikir kalo pria yang tepat dapat mengisi itu, namun kenyataannya dia juga manusia, yang bisa berbuat salah dan menyakiti kita. Kalo kita berharap sama dia, buntut-buntutnya pasti merasa kecewa juga. Itulah kenapa pasangan atau apapun juga ga boleh jadi fokus utama dalam hidup kita. Kita harus mengetahui bahwa seorang wanita menjadi seorang wanita saat ia menjadi seperti apa yang Tuhan inginkan baginya. 

Ketidakutuhan bukanlah akibat menjadi lajang, tetapi akibat tidak penuh di dalam Yesus. Hanya melalui proses penyerahan tanpa ragu kepada Yesus sajalah seorang wanita manapun dapat akhirnya mengerti bahwa di dalam Dia, ia utuh. Waktu dua orang lajang yang "tidak utuh" menikah, penyatuan diri mereka tidaklah dapat membuat mereka utuh. Pernikahan mereka hanyalah menjadi dua orang yang "tidak utuh" berusaha mendapat keutuhannya di pihak yang lain. Hanya saat mereka memahami bahwa kepenuhan mereka didapat dalam suatu hubungan dengan Yesus barulah mereka akan dapat mulai saling melengkapi satu sama lain. Mereka tidak akan dapat saling memenuhi. Mereka tidak diciptakan untuk membuat pasangannya utuh, tetapi untuk saling melengkapi. Keutuhan adalah tanggung jawab Yesus dan menjadi pelengkap adalah hak istimewa seorang wanita. Seorang wanita yang tidak utuh di dalam Yesus akan membuat suaminya kekeringan. Wanita semacam itu akan berharap suaminya mengisi semua celah yang hanya dapat diisi oleh Yesus.

Sama seperti perumpamaan dua gelas air yang setengah penuh. Gelas itu tidak akan dapat mengisi gelas lain tanpa salah satunya menjadi kosong atau kekurangan. 2 gelas itu tidak dapat memenuhi satu sama lain. Satu-satunya cara untuk bisa penuh adalah dengan mengisi air dari sumbernya, dalam hal ini, Tuhan kita. Perumpamaan ini keren banget deh, karena kita jadi bisa mendapat gambaran yang benar bahwa manusia tidak dapat mencari pengutuhan dan pemenuhan dari manusia lain, hanya Tuhan Yesus aja yang bisa. (Source: HERE)

Pernah denger cerita tentang perempuan Samaria yang bertemu Yesus waktu ngambil air di sumur? Dia telah menikah 5 kali dan tetap merasa hampa. Dia ga menemukan apa yang dia cari, dan dia harus menerima penghakiman dan pengucilan orang-orang disekitarnya juga. Tapi apa yang terjadi ketika dia bertemu Yesus? Yesus menawarkan air hidup yang katanya kalau dia minum dia ga akan haus lagi. Lalu perempuan itu minta air yang Yesus maksud. Nah, yang Yesus maksud dengan "ga haus" ini maknanya lebih dalam dari itu. Bahwa si perempuan ini ga akan haus alias hampa lagi. Haus akan kasih sayang, haus akan cinta, haus akan perhatian, rasa aman, dari seorang pria. Setelah Yesus membukakan dosa-dosanya dan berbicara ke dalam hatinya, akhirnya perempuan itu sadar kalo pria-pria itu ga bisa memenuhi kekosongan dirinya dan bahwa benar, air kehidupan alias Yesus sendiri, telah menjawab rasa haus yang selama ini dia alami. (Source: HERE)

Nah sekarang setelah mendapatkan gambaran yang benar, gimana caranya untuk fokus sama Yesus dan menyerahkan semuanya tanpa ragu ke tangan-Nya? Kita belajar tentang Rahasia Kotak Batu Pualam Putih. Jadi waktu Tuhan Yesus ada di dunia, seorang wanita yang umurnya sudah cukup untuk menikah akan mendapat sebuah kotak batu pualam dari keluarganya, untuk diisi dengan minyak yang berharga. Ukuran kotak dan harga minyaknya sesuai dengan kekayaan keluarga wanita itu. Nah kotak batu pualam ini akan jadi bagian dari mas kawin. Nanti kalo ada pria yang melamar dia, wanita ini akan memecahkan kotak batu pualam ini di kakinya, sebagai tanda penghormatan kepada pemuda itu. 

Suatu hari waktu Yesus lagi makan, seorang wanita datang dan memecahkan kotak batu pualam itu, lalu mencurahkan minyak yang berharga itu di kepala Yesus. Padahal wanita ini seorang pendosa lho. Tapi dia percaya Yesus berhak mendapatkan penghormatan seperti itu, bahwa Yesus adalah satu-satunya Pribadi yang dapat mewujudkan impiannya. Nah bagaimana dengan kita?

Sama, masing-masing kita juga punya kotak batu pualam putih itu, yang isinya mungkin adalah fantasi masa kecil, harapan-harapan kita akan kehidupan pernikahan yang bahagia? Apakah sekarang kita sedang mencari-cari pria kepada siapa kita akan memecahkan kotak kita? Bawalah kotak kita kepada Yesus dan pecahkanlah di hadirat-Nya, karena Dia layak menerima penghormatan itu. Karena kita semua sebagai gereja-Nya, adalah mempelai surgawi-Nya. 

Lalu bagaimana caranya memecahkan kotak batu pualam putih kita di kaki Yesus dan menyerahkan hidup kita tanpa ragu kepada-Nya? Percayakan hidup kita, impian kita, masa depan kita, tubuh jiwa dan roh kita, hanya kepada Tuhan Yesus. Ketika kita sudah menyerahkan semuanya kepada Tuhan Yesus, termasuk pasangan duniawi kita, selanjutnya hiduplah untuk kemuliaan-Nya. Kalau selama ini kita menghabiskan waktu untuk mencari-cari siapa yang bisa didekati, siapa yang berprospek jadi suami masa depan, siapa yang bisa dijadikan pacar untuk menemani akhir pekan, sekarang fokuslah melayani. Kita bisa belajar tentang penyerahan tanpa ragu dari Kisah Ruth di Perjanjian lama, yang dibahas dengan mudah dimengerti di buku ini. 

Next: Wanita yang Rajin

LADY IN WAITING

Segera setelah gw selesai baca buku ini, gw pengen banget bikin ringkasannya supaya banyak yang bisa baca, tapi ternyata sampe sekarang setelah bulan demi bulan berlalu, gw ga sempet terus dan kelupaan haha. Sekarang gw bener-bener niat bikin abis baca ulang. Judul Indonesianya Wanita dalam Penantian: Menjadi yang terbaik bagi Allah dalam Penantian.

"Buku ini bukanlah tentang bagaimana menemukan pria yang tepat, tetapi tentang bagaimana menjadi wanita yang tepat."

Buku ini mengubah pandangan gw dan banyak wanita dalam penantian di luar sana, begitu memberkati dan mengubah hidup kami. Dulu gw selalu yakin kalo suatu hari Tuhan akan membawa sang pangeran datang di hadapan gw, seorang pria yang cinta Tuhan dan sebagainya. Gw cuma tinggal nunggu aja disini, ngejalanin hidup gw sampai dia datang. Gw juga berpikiran kalo punya pasangan itu melengkapi hidup gw. Gw selalu pengen punya orang yang bisa temenin gw, berbagi sama gw, bikin gw bahagia. Ternyata oh ternyata gw salah!

Mungkin ada di antara kalian yang berpikiran sama kaya gw? Menanti pasangan yang tak kunjung datang? Akhirnya dibilang orang, "Makanya jangan terlalu picky!", atau mungkin, "Kok jomblo terus sih? Ga laku ya?" Hehe, don't worry, dengan buku ini, kita akan punya perspektif yang benar dan tepat dan kita bisa menjadi Wanita dalam Penantian yang menyenangkan Tuhan!

Buku ini bukan cuma buat para singles loh. Buku ini applicable untuk lajang, yang sudah menikah, bercerai, janda, jadi ga tergantung status seorang wanita tapi kerinduan hatinya. Banyak dari kita yang mikir kalo mencintai seorang pria dan menikah adalah satu-satunya naskah yang dapat memuaskan kerinduan hatinya yang terdalam. Tapi sebenarnya yang dapat memuaskan kerinduan hati kita cuma satu, Tuhan Yesus Kristus, sang Mempelai Pria Sejati.

Tujuan utama gw nulis ini semua adalah supaya orang-orang yang kesulitan cari bukunya tetap bisa merasakan berkat yang gw dapet dari buku ini. Tapi gw tetap menyarankan untuk mencari dan membelinya. Ini aset berharga buat diri kalian, teman, saudara, dan anak-anak kalian nanti. Kalian ga akan pernah bosen untuk terus baca ulang, dan apa yang gw tulis ga akan bisa merangkum keindahan keseluruhan buku ini dibanding kalian baca sendiri. Oke, kita mulai ya.

Dalam buku ini ada 10 bab, nah silahkan klik link-nya buat baca, berurutan ya. Gw akan cerita dengan gaya bahasa gw, tapi akan ada beberapa kalimat-kalimat yang langsung gw sertakan soalnya terlalu bagus buat diringkas (warna biru). Haha.

Bab 1 - Wanita dengan Penyerahan tanpa Ragu (Lady of Reckless Abandonment)
Bab 2 - Wanita yang Rajin (Lady of Diligence)
Bab 3 - Wanita yang Beriman (Lady of Faith)
Bab 4 - Wanita yang Penuh Kebajikan (Lady of Virtue)
Bab 5 - Wanita yang Penuh Pengabdian (Lady of Devotion)
Bab 6 - Wanita yang Murni (Lady of Purity)
Bab 7 - Wanita yang Memiliki Rasa Aman (Lady of Security)
Bab 8 - Wanita yang Puas (Lady of Contentment)
Bab 9 - Wanita yang Penuh Keyakinan (Lady of Conviction)
Bab 10 - Wanita yang Sabar (Lady of Patience)

DOGAI'S NEW BATIK OUTFIT

Good day! Yesterday I sewed Dogai a new clothes! Got the pattern from HERE. We just need to print out the pattern based on our dog's size. Measure our dog like THIS, and check it HERE. That website has a lot of  patterns. Since it's my first I tried the easiest one. I also haven't bought the proper fabric yet, so I just used the Batik patchwork in my house. Well, at least I have to teach Dogai to love our own traditional cloth, Batik!

He was super curious when I was cutting the pattern, but did not disturb me at all, he just sat patiently beside me and I could feel the softness of his fur while working.

VOILA! 

Batik vest for Raden Dogai!

See you on the next project!

APOLOGY LANGUAGE

After Love Language I found the Apology Language test from 5 Love Languages too. You can try it HERE.

Well of course we have to forgive even if the people who have done wrong don't even apologize. However I think it's still useful for us to build healthier relationship with people around us.

Genuinely Repent (9)

For some individuals, repentance is the convincing factor in an apology. Some mates will doubt the sincerity of an apology if it is not accompanied by their partner’s desire to modify their behavior to avoid 
the situation in the future.

It’s important to remember that all true repentance begins in the heart. A mate must feel poorly for hurting their loved one, and rely on God’s help in order to truly change. Admitting you are wrong creates vulnerability. It allows your mate to get a glimpse of your heart. The glimpse of true self is assurance that the apology was sincere.

One important aspect of genuinely repenting is verbalizing your desire to change. Your mate cannot read your mind. Though you may be trying to change inside, if you do not verbalize your desire to change to your mate, most likely they will still be hurt.

Many people have problems with repenting when they do not feel as though their actions were morally wrong. However, in a healthy relationship, we often make changes that have nothing to do with morality and everything to do with building a harmonious marriage.

It is also important to make a dedicated plan for change. Often apologies involving repentance fail because the person never set up steps of action to help ensure success. A person must first set goals for their change. After you create realistic goals, then you can start implementing a plan to change. Taking baby steps towards repentance instead of insisting on changing all at once will increase your chances of successfully changing your ways.

It is important to remember that change is hard. Constructive change does not mean we will immediately be successful. There will be highs and lows on the road to change. You must remember that with God’s help, anyone can change their ways if they are truly and genuinely ready to repent.

Make Restitution (4)

In our society, many people believe that wrong acts demand justice. The one who commits the crime should pay for their wrongdoing. A mate who speaks this love language feels the same way towards apologies. They believe that in order to be sincere, the person who is apologizing should justify their actions. The mate who’s been hurt simply wants to hear that their mate still loves them.

There are many effective ways to demonstrate sincerity in an apology. Each mate must learn the other’s love language in order to complete the act of restitution. Though some mates may feel as though all is forgotten with a bouquet of flowers, that may not necessarily work for all mates. Every mate should uncover what their partner’s main love language is (Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Acts of Service, Physical Touch, and Receiving Gifts) and use that specific language in order to make restitutions in the most effective way.

For a mate whose primary apology language is making restitutions, no matter how often you say “I’m sorry”, or “I was wrong”, your mate will never find the apology sincere. You must show strong efforts for making amends. A genuine apology will be accompanied by the assurance that you still love your mate 
and have a desire to right the wrong-doings committed.

Accept Responsibility (4)

It is very difficult for some people to admit that they’re wrong. It makes them doubt their self-worth, and no one likes to be portrayed as a failure. However, as adults, we must all admit that we are sinners and that we will make mistakes. We are going to make poor decisions that hurt our mates, and we are going to have to admit that we were wrong. We have to accept responsibility for our own failures. For many individuals, all they want is to hear the words, “I am wrong.” If the apology neglects accepting responsibility for their actions, many partners will not feel as though the apology was meaningful and sincere. Many partners need to learn how to overcome their ego, the desire to not be viewed as a failure, and simply admit that their actions were wrong. For a mate who speaks this apology language, if an apology does not admit fault, it is not worth hearing. Being sincere in your apology means allowing yourself to be weak, and admitting that you make mistakes. Though this may be hard to do for some people, it makes a world of a difference to your partner who speaks this language.

Expressing Regret (2)

“Expressing Regret” is the Apology Language that zeroes in on emotional hurt. It is an admission of guilt and shame for causing pain to another person. For those who listen for “Expressing Regret” apologies, a simple “I’m sorry” is all they look for. There is no need for explanation or “pay back” provided the apology has truly come from the heart. “Expressing Regret” is a powerful Apology Language because it gets right to the point. It doesn’t make excuses or attempt to deflect blame. Above all, “Expressing Regret” takes ownership of the wrong. For that reason, “Expressing Regret” is understood as a sincere commitment to repair and rebuild the relationship. The “Expressing Regret” Apology Language speaks most clearly when the person offering the apology reflects sincerity not only verbally, but also through body language. Unflinching eye contact and a gentle, but firm touch are two ways that body language can underscore sincerity.

Request Forgiveness (1)

In some relationships, a mate wants to hear their partner physically ask for forgiveness. They want assurance that their mate recognizes the need for forgiveness. By asking forgiveness for their actions, a partner is really asking their mate to still love them. Requesting forgiveness assures your mate that you want to see the relationship fully restored. It also proves to your mate that you are sincerely sorry for what you’ve done. It shows that you realize you’ve done something wrong. Requesting forgiveness also shows that you are willing to put the future of the relationship in the hands of the offended mate. You are leaving the final decision up to your partner – to forgive or not forgive.

Requesting forgiveness is not easy. It often leaves one vulnerable to the fear of rejection. Along with the fear of rejection is the fear of failing. Many people have a hard time seeking forgiveness because it means admitting that you have failed. The only way to overcome this fear is to recognize that it is very common amongst mankind. The commonality makes it okay to be a failure. It allows a stubborn mate to apologize to their partner and become a healthy individual.

Ultimately, it’s important to remember that there is a difference between asking for forgiveness and DEMANDING forgiveness. When we demand forgiveness, we tend to forget the nature of forgiveness. Forgiveness is a choice the offended party is supposed to make. Demanding forgiveness takes away the sincerity of asking for it.

Remember not to treat forgiveness lightly. It is something to be cherished and appreciated. The act of forgiveness is hard on both ends – for the person who’s asking and for the person who’s accepting.

HAPPY FORGIVING